The Journey of Self-Discovery and Ancestral Healing with Marcella Kroll
Marcella Kroll, a multifaceted spiritual counselor, tarot reader, and deck creator from Tucson, Arizona, joins us for an eye-opening conversation about the responsibilities and reverence involved in identifying as a witch. Marcella shares her rich heritage, drawing from Italian folk magic and her Native American, Filipino, and African American ancestry. She candidly discusses how her unique family background validated her magical abilities and guided her spiritual journey.
Listen as we navigate Marcella's personal tales of self-discovery and ancestral healing, detailing her experiences growing up in a restrictive Rhode Island environment. She opens up about the challenges of self-teaching spiritual rituals in unconventional spaces, grappling with imposter syndrome due to her multiracial background, and creating personal practices that honor but don’t replicate traditional lineages. Our conversation shines a light on the necessity of ongoing self-reflection, respect for diverse practices, and the importance of maintaining one's unique path.
We also touch on the emotional toll of being a self-published author and witch in the age of social media. Marcella reflects on the distinction between passion and fame, early organic follower growth, and the current pay-to-play model’s impact on validation and recognition. We explore the pressures of productivity, the significance of balance and self-care, and the journey of navigating spiritual connections and new beginnings. Don’t miss out on Marcella’s upcoming events, workshops, and exciting new projects that promise to inspire your own spiritual path.
Be sure to check out her work at marcellakroll.com.
Kimothy: 0:04
Welcome back to Your Average Witch, where every Tuesday, we talk about witch life, witch stories and sometimes a little witchcraft. Your Average Witch is brought to you by Crepuscular Conjuration. In this episode, I'm talking to Marcella Kroll, an artist, author and creator of the Dreamer's Tarot and Nature Nurture Oracle Decks. We talked about ancestor work, divination and how imposter syndrome can affect your practice. Before we get started, though, I wanted to invite you to the Witch's Bazaar by Inked Goddess Creations. It's on October 12th from noon to six at 1674 South Research Loop, suite 430, here in Tucson. I'll be vending and I'll have altar cloths, altar dish sets, shirts, jewelry and a bunch of other witchy stuff, and you can learn more by going to witches-bazaar.com. That's W-I-T-C-H-E-S dash B-A-Z-A-A-R dot com. Now let's get to the stories. Good morning, Marcella. Welcome to the show.
Marcella: 1:15
Hi, good morning, happy to be here.
Kimothy: 1:20
Oh good, I'm really happy to have you. Can you please introduce yourself and let everybody know who you are and what you do and where they can find you?
Marcella: 1:23
Sure, my name is Marcella Kroll. I am a spiritual counselor, tarot reader, divination deck creator and teacher, and I am based in Tucson, Arizona, at this time. You can find all of my information at MarcellaKroll.com, or my Instagram is @marcellakroll. Yeah.
Kimothy: 1:54
Awesome Do you call yourself a witch, first?
Marcella: 1:57
You know I have mixed feelings about that. I called myself a witch for a really long time and then I kind of veered away from that title because I felt like there was a lot of just kind of judgment in being called that or a lot of it felt trendy, you know it started to become popular. And it was one of those things I even dressed like. I used to dress like really kind of more witchy, I guess looking, and then you know just the rise. I lived in LA for 18 years, so you know Hollywood witches and things like that, and you know it just, it just a little too… like I didn't want to be part of it. But am I a witch? I mean, yeah, deep down, you know, I guess I could say I am.
Kimothy: 2:55
What does it mean when you say that? What does the term mean to you?
Marcella: 3:12
For me, I think being a witch, being a magical person or being living here requires a devotion, a devotion to the divine, to the invisible, to the impossible. I think it's about being an advocate or, you know, someone that stands up for others, and including non-living things. So I think that's what kind of I want to remind people that, like, being a witch and being a spiritualist is not about cosplaying, you know, a spiritualist is not about cosplaying, like, there's a responsibility to be had. As a person who embodies this archetype, you have a responsibility, you know, and to engage with, with the invisible, but also to do so in a manner with reverence and with respect for all living things.
Kimothy: 4:07
I love that.
Marcella: 4:08
Thanks.
Kimothy: 4:09
Would you say you have any family history with witchcraft or any, even if they wouldn't have called themselves witches, it's still kind of witchy?
Marcella: 4:20
Yeah, well, you know it's really wild. I have quite an interesting background because I didn't. I grew up with a very Catholic Italian grandmother but her sister, my great aunt, there was really like she did the malocchio, which is like the Italian like evil eye, you know, clearing that and all that, and like there was a lot of like folk magic, but they didn't really talk about it Right. So in my own research I found that there was a lot of, there were descendants of like Janare, like in witches, which is like a southern italian folk magic, and then my biological father's side, which I didn't have any connection to. I didn't know my biological father until five years ago. So when I met him, you know, he said “Oh, I see you took that gift of ours and turned it into a living.” And that's when I found out that his mother, my grandmother, who's still alive and I've spoken to her, she is a tarot reader at Woodstock and her mother was, you know, a magical person but also a medium and she was institutionalized for seeing things amongst also being like in an interracial marriage in the 30s and, or, you know, relationship because it wasn't legal, because my father's side is, they're Wampanoag, Native American and Filipino and African American, yeah. So there's like this mixture of different magical practices and folk histories. So, without knowing certain things, I was tapping into and like, in doing certain things, like unprompted cause, I had no teachings. You know, finding out later that it was in fact, you know, kind of passed down. So that's you know, I guess you would say kind of my like ancestral connections to magic. That's really interesting. It's pretty wild when you meet people that and I was like, well, wow, this just like unpacked a whole lot of mystery, but also gave me like, oh, you're not crazy, like because for years I thought I was schizophrenic, or I thought I was crazy, or you know, because I wasn't like my mom's family at all, you know, and no one could give me any answers, because you try to talk about things and everything's a big secret, and the Italians were, so, you know, into the Catholicism and wanted to be American, so bad. So there was a lot of erasure, except for, like my great aunt, like I said, and then I found out, also after doing my own research. What's even more wild is the town where my grandmother was born and her family is from in Southern Italy, and Ravisconina is like 45 minutes from which is a Benevento, which is like a was a huge meeting, which is a Benevento. If you look that up, it's like a huge meeting spot for witches. There was originally, I think there was a church there now, but there was a Hekate temple there, yeah, and now, and there was a cult of Isis temple which, like, predates all of that. And I also, doing that research, found out that through the Italian side which I think is hilarious, there's also I have North African and Coptic Egyptian. It's like way back, it's like seven, eight generations back, but it all goes through that matrilineal line, you know. So, yeah, I'm just like OK, and Isis is the first deity that I ever connected with unprompted, you know. So I just I think it finds you when you are connected, you know, when it's in your blood, like that that is cool and interesting.
Kimothy: 8:37
Holy crap, that's neat!
Marcella: 8:40
Thanks. Yeah, it's pretty wild. I mean it definitely was like oh, aha, a lot of aha moments, you know, especially when you think like you know, and you have people just like, oh, you're imagining things. But to have it kind of validated as an adult, I'm like, well, I'm glad it was validated in my lifetime.
Kimothy: 9:01
I know I would love that.
Marcella: 9:02
I would love to have somebody say oh, this is why I think honestly though I mean it wouldn't have happened. I did a lot of work, I think, to open those channels. You know I was doing a lot of ancestral veneration in attempts to search for my bio dad and information, and I think me doing that veneration is literally like what opened those channels. Veneration is literally like what opened those channels.
Kimothy: 9:31
That's cool. Stuff is just weird when it does that.
Marcella: 9:34
I mean it really is. It's never, it's always. You know, what I love about magic is that it's even though it's like I'm never I'm surprised, but I'm never like, oh yeah, totally, totally knew that was going to happen Like I love that I still can have like excitement, that like, oh my gosh, that worked. You know, like there's still this feeling of it's not naivety but it's innocence again, of it's not naivety but it's innocence again, like when I have things happen in magic that I'm just so glad that I'm not yes, I'm jaded about a lot of things in my life, but like when things happen magically, I'm like, oh, this is so cool, and I feel like a kid again. Yeah, yeah, like I feel like excited again about existing, because I don't feel excited about existing a lot. You know not to be too heavy, but you know, like the reality is, it's magic, is what keeps me like excited to be here as a human on this earth planet whatever in this, in this year in this economy, that's that's how you laugh, but damn it. I mean you have to to, you know, you gotta. Oh, what else you got for me, Kim, else we can take it really dark. I mean where we can go to aliens.
Kimothy: 10:05
I don't want to cry today.
Marcella: 10:07
Okay, oh sorry, that's like my specialty.
Kimothy: 11:11
If I do cry, I want it to be over something like good and not desperation.
Marcella: 11:16
Okay, Okay, I'm sorry. I like to bring out the tears in people.
Kimothy: 10:19
Oh, I'm a crier. I'm sure it'll happen.
Marcella: 11:27
Okay cool, I can handle it.
Kimothy: 11:35
Can you introduce us to your practice? Do you have any consistent, maybe even daily, things that you do?
Marcella: 11:45
Well, I have to say I'm a bad witch in that I don't have like something that I say I do forever and ever. I have periods of time, like seasons, of ways I practice. I have multiple altars in my home. I work with multiple deities and beings, but I also think that my practice is intending to those altars at different times. I do like to make it a practice to introduce myself to land and to spaces that I have not been to, I think, whether I'm traveling in or around town or even out of the country. I think that is an important practice and being a good steward of witchcraft and of the land is introducing yourself to the places and spaces you go to, not just the humans, but the land, know the land, the trees, the people who came before you. So I would say that's a big part of my practice. I do a lot of, I would say, fire magic, candle magic, and not just like to get things you know, but more like veneration and a lot of purging and a lot of clearing, and sometimes what I've become kind of more consistent with is periodically doing like group burn rituals for prayers for people. I don't do it all the time, but I try to do it. It especially when the world is going through a lot of things and-
Kimothy: 12:24
You've had a constant pyre in your yard for the past year?
Marcella: 12:26
No, no, there's no constant pyre, but, like I will periodically put out like a call, you know, for people to, you know, put their kind of like intentions or you know people that they're praying for and do that. I just did a equinox ritual up in Phoenix and had everyone kind of like contribute their intentions for themselves, with their intentions for the world and saying a prayer for someone else, because it is in that giving and receiving that we find balance, and I think that is a huge part of my practice. On top of teaching, you know. So I'm always learning myself, but I do like to teach other people how. I think part of my personal practice is teaching other people how to find the magic within themselves, you know, and how to use it. But make it unique, because I think like, as as mentioned earlier, there's a lot of witchcraft out there. There's a lot of handy dandy like tools and classes and things, and you know consumption, but, and a lot of it is like, do this my way and I'm like, how about you do it your own way, but I'll just show you how to find it this my way and I'm like, how about you do it your own way, but I'll just show you how to find it. And I think, yeah, and I think that's just also a product of you know, I grew up in the eighties and nineties and I didn't have anyone to look at. There was no internet, there was no. There was just like a couple of dusty new England bookstores, because I grew up in Rhode Island and you know, it's like very spooky out there, but like, even as spooky as it is, it's still witch burning country, like people didn't talk about this stuff. So you had to, like you know, I had to teach myself a lot of things because I didn't have direct mentors. You know, direct mentors, you know, so anyway, I like this idea that the world is more open or opening up to this way, but I also think it's important to find your own, you know, voice in it. So that's what I like to share in my practice and in any kind of mentorship I do, or even like I show people. Like you know, yes, there is a time and a place for like very traditional, like step-by-step rituals and things like that. But also you, when you've been homeless, like I've been houseless before you know, I've I've done rituals on a napkin, you know, and or I was living out of my car, you know, like at one point, like there, you know, and I or I was living out of my car, you know, like at one point, like there, you know, and I would do little things on my dashboard because that was all I had. And I want people to know that like rituals and practice more, it is a lot of it. Like that stuff is beautiful and, don't get me wrong, I love, I love a good candle holder and aesthetic yeah, a good candle holder. An aesthetic. Yeah, I love my, my, I love my little doodads and everything. But you, you also have to make sure your intent is there, otherwise these are empty objects, these are empty things.
Kimothy: 16:37
So I agree. I actually taught a class that is sort of like that.
Marcella: 16:42
Nice!
Kimothy: 16:43
I don't know it was at Anahata’s Purpose. I thought… it feels like it was last year, but I think it was only like two weeks. Anyway, it was along those same lines, so I relate to that a lot.
Marcella: 16:59
Yeah, I think it’s important. So I guess, like the thing, here's the thing, like really I have a book coming out in February, kind of based on because there's a couple of schools of thought and I understand it right Like there are a lot of people out there who are, like you know, super strict in their practices and they're like, if you don't have elders, if you don't have mentors, you know, like it's not, you know it's not legit, right, and you shouldn't be working with other people.
Marcella: 17:26
but there are people who are out there that didn't have that, because those histories were erased, suppressed or stolen, or people who, like myself I'm mixed, I'm multiracial, I don't have access to a lot of those worlds because it wasn't welcome. You know, like it was like kind of like, this is a little sus, why are you here? Are you trying to be extractive? Are you trying to do this? And it's like so a lot of the work that I like to do it's like Island of Misfit Toys magic, and that is the purpose of this Healing the Liminal is because we are residing in a liminal space, there's no space for us. So how do we do this work? And honor and respect these traditions, but also create and empower ourselves by creating our own. That still also don't deny, like our lineages and our history. But they also don't try to just like copy and paste something that doesn't fully resonate with them. You know, because I was never too, I was never white enough for the, the white witchcraft, pagan spaces. I was a little off for people, and then for the more, like you know, even in my own indigenous, like communities or even like other spaces, like I was too white for them. You know, even in my own indigenous, like communities or even like other spaces, like I was too white for them, you know. So it's like they're like what are you doing here, what do you want? You know? So a lot of imposter syndrome and all of those things can come up, you know, especially when people are like, well, you don't have anyone that's showed you their lineage, their practice, showed you their lineage, their practice. But I think we're living in a world now and it's the same reason why, like, I started making decks was because I didn't find anything that I connected to. You know, like, just like we have to grow and evolve as humans. Like so do our tools, so do our practices, all of that stuff, you know, traditional hermeticism, all that stuff, like I appreciate the hell out of it. I do. I like, I love, I've taught hermeticism. All that stuff, like I appreciate the hell out of it, I do. I like I love. I've taught at a hermetic school in LA before. Like that's one of the places we went to Egypt. We did initiations of the Sphinx. Like, but it's not, I don't practice hermeticism, but I respect it, you know, and I've learned it in ways, but it is not my daily practice. I don't know. I like to say I have a multi-pass, you know, but it takes a lot to have a multi-pass, like you have to really, really do a lot of shadow work, I think, and I'm always doing it. You have to be brutally honest with yourself and your reasons why, and you have to be very, very, very quick to call yourself out and not get absorbed or lost in the sauce of someone else's practice. You know, staying in your own lane but also having reverence, right.
Kimothy: 20:26
One thing that I thought when you were talking about your family is that it's interesting that lots of cultures try to cover up that stuff. And then there's people like me who have very distant ancestors who are from that region or whatever, and we're trying to find it again, and so we're looking for it. And it's just an interesting dichotomy of people.
Marcella: 20:59
Well, and I think you know, I think there is like beauty in the reclamation, like reclamation, you know, and reclaiming and going back to those roots, going back to, you know, like deep, deep rooted stuff. That's where you find the healing. But you know, there's a lot of other stuff that comes up with it and I think that that's what people have to understand. Like I don't know, like I worked in LA for so long, I worked at a metaphysical bookstore out there in Venice and for 10 years, and there's a lot of seeking right. But in that seeking you don't just get like a merit badge and a bandaid, like you've got to. And this is where people, a lot of people, have a hard time, or where they quit or they give up or they they go to one religion and go. This is all going to send you to hell. It’s because they can't look at the ugly stuff and sit in it. You know, cause I I have, I have the like both sides of of the coin there. You know, you know in in the oppressed and the oppressor and like all that stuff and like to reconcile a lot of those things in my magical practice. But also, you know, I have to exist and I have to exist for them to exist and I have to exist for them. I have to exist for the ones that had to and even like my Italian side, like a lot of them, gave up a lot of their magic to fit in, to get by. You know, it's not that they're less magical than my indigenous or my Filipino or my. You know my indigenous or my Filipino or my. You know African sides like they're, they're just they had to do it differently.
Kimothy: 22:54
Well, if it's a choice between cover it up or be killed, I'm probably going to cover it up.
Marcella: 23:01
Yeah, cover it up or go. You know, like survival, you know, or who gets, even if you go back, like not that far back, like I think about you know relatives that had to, just, you know. Okay, well, enough with this. Is this? Is you know this arts and dancing? Like they were, there were a lot of dancers in my mom's, the Italian side. There were a lot of dancing, dancers, but that was considered a hobby, you know, but like they used to win like little, like competitions and things like that and like that, without the encouragement or with actual support. Maybe that could have been, you know, encouraged, you know, yeah, but I think there's a lot of imposter syndrome. I think that even too, with magic and witchcraft, I think people think they're supposed to be good at it overnight or they're supposed to be good at it right away. Do you know how many mistakes I made? As, like a baby witch, I made so many dumb things that I can laugh about it now. But we have people like grown adults who are like suddenly discovering their magic, which is beautiful, but like not expecting to make a mistake or to do something and like kind of have a hiccup Like I don't know.
Kimothy: 24:13
I must not really be this because it's not in my blood, so I must not be able to do it right.
Marcella: 24:19
So right or it's evil, yeah. Or like like, oh, this was bad. I'm like no, it's just like. It's why it's called. It's a practice. You also have to develop. You know discipline, which is hard. I have a hard time at discipline, you know?
Kimothy: 24:41
That’s why I’m not in the Army any more. But also, don't tell me what to do.
Marcella: 24:45
Yeah, it’s the same way. I'm like you're not the boss of me, but wait, tell me, what do I need to do?
Kimothy: 24:51
You're like give me the exact way it needs to be done. But then leave me alone while I do it.
Marcella: 24:58
Are you autistic? Cause I'm autistic and that sounds very autistic.
Kimothy: 25:01
Yeah.
Marcella: 25:02
Okay, well, here we go. Neurodivergence unites.
Kimothy: 25:11
How would you say your magical practice has changed your life, or would you?
Marcella: 25:17
Oh my god, it's why, it's the only reason why I'm alive. Honestly, I mean, I'm not just saying that to be like you know. Oh, this is, it is, it's the only I would say. Magic and art are my reasons for breathing, for being here. They're the things that have kept me going, they're the only things that haven't let me down, honestly, and it's like everything in this world will let you down, and even when magic has not given me what I wanted, it has not let me down because it it was like no, you don't want that, this is not what you want. Like I was like thank you for, for protecting me, thank you for showing me, thank you for like letting me mess up enough to understand that what I'm seeking is actually something else. So as far as it, throughout my life magic I mean even when I was a little girl I used to like make potions on the floor, like with random things, like in the bathroom, yeah, or just like like I would grab, like my mom had, I have a pretty young mom and it was a party house, you know, when I wasn't with my grandmother and I was with my mom, because my mom used to like follow bands and stuff. All her and her other friends were all really young. They were like into rock and roll or like she had a couple of her friends might want to be called. Everyone was like auntie. You know, nobody was related, but they'd give me all these like little perfume things and dolls and I'd make little witch spells. Like I would even go into the kitchen and like just like take pancake mix and like make spells on the floor and get in a lot of trouble because I wasn't like in a bowl or anything, I was just like pouring shit on the floor. But you know random things like that. But yeah, it's always been present. The only time I like dialed it down honestly was between, because you know kids start to make fun of you or you know, I tried really hard to be normal for a little while. That's, the funny thing is like most people try to be like weird and extroverted or weird and like really out there. I tried to be really normal for a few years as a teenager and it always backfired.
Kimothy: 27:40
Were you miserable? I was.
Marcella: 28:09
I was 14 to 18. And then I did actually have a near death experience because I overdosed at 18. And that's when it all came flooding back into my life. You know, that's when all the sensors, like all the lights, went on again. I went to treatment, went to rehab and I actually like started learning how to do astrological charts, like, but by hand, just because I was bored. Yeah, and like reading cards. Well, to me it was like it wasn't altruistic, you know, because some people were like, oh my God, I want to help people. I was like, no, I just want to know why I'm like this, Like I wasn't interested in helping people. That didn't come until later, you know well it's trying to help other people.
Kimothy: 28:51
It's like the airplane mask situation, you gotta do yourself first.
Marcella: 29:02
I well, I mean, I had no plans of living beyond 18, so everything was just like all meh all right, I'll try it, you know so that was yeah. I would say magic has always been a huge presence in my life.
Kimothy: 29:18
What would you say is the biggest struggle in your practice?
Marcella: 29:23
Patience, I mean, that's definitely. Patience is a huge one, because sometimes it's really hard to see the bigger picture and sometimes like wanting things, the solution right away and, just as I mentioned, you know, consistency, so, but I also I have mixed feelings about that. Right like I get on myself about discipline, but then I get on myself because I'm like why are you being like using your internalized ableism on yourself about things that are cyclical in nature, and you know you're not a machine, so why would magic be a machine? You know, that's what I would think about having that conversation with.
Kimothy: 30:09
For me, with myself, that would make my head hurt.
Marcella: 30:18
I mean, I've literally been having this conversation, like recently, even like the last couple of days. You know, Cause it's like how do you trust that the seeds you're planted and like you're watering and stuff that are like, and then you're like grow, grow, happen, happen, manifest, and it's like no, like you don't. If you do this now, it's not going to benefit you. You know, and those are, those are I call my, those are my younger self mistakes. Why do I need to repeat them?
Kimothy: 30:52
Lord.
Marcella: 30:55
The Lord has nothing to do with this, Kim. (both laugh) I'm sorry, I'm a ball buster.
Kimothy: 31:07
Okay, cool so you've brought up imposter syndrome a couple times. How do you deal with it?
Marcella: 31:23
The hard way.
Kimothy: 31:24
Do you just slog through, because that's what I do.
Marcella: 31:28
I have to like, really, you know, I have to have a little bit of a tantrum, first, and a pity party, and then a full mental breakdown, and then I like pull myself together and I'm like, okay, and sometimes it's not even like, it's like one shift in perspective, it's one conversation or it's one like acknowledgement of you know, doing a little like reflection and review, like well, what, if you know? Because the thing is I find that, like we often don't even like moving here. Right, I moved here just over six months ago, like it's it's been like it'll be almost seven months soon, um, and I'm like I'm nothing, I'm nothing, I'm nothing. And then I had to literally sit and go wait. What have you done in the last? You know? Like, even like the fact that, like I went full time in 2009. And I was trying to think and I was like, why am I being so like awful to myself? When, if I can sit down and bullet, point like the things that I've been able to kind of do not just to achieve, but like, and not just for money, but like for my wellbeing, for my growth, for my own healing, like, sit with all of that, can you like let go of like thinking you're not doing it right or you're not enough or you're not worth it. And I will say it's still hard, I can still. If you put all of the things that I've created in front of me, it's, it's a very surreal thing and I can, and, uh, and I still have like a fear, almost like I think it's more of like a fear of appreciate. If I'm being honest, it's just like a fear of like. If I appreciate this now, does that mean I'm done? Does that mean I'm I'm done in this timeline, fully Like, am I really putting a cap on it at this, because it's not everything I've wanted to do? But also, I think that's the product of, you know, not growing up with supportive guardians, you know. So I mean, I go to therapy and I've had to make a lot of changes in, especially the last few years, with who I surround myself, with, how I talk to myself. These are not easy things to deprogram, especially when you seek out, like when you're pretty wounded and you seek out relationships that validate your imposter syndrome. Then you have to like deconstruct all that and get new friends. That's a painful process. That's hard, yes, it's. It's beyond hard the last three years for me. So it was like I was in Echo Park in LA and then I moved to Long Beach and it's like and I was in Long Beach for three years and I feel like that whole three years was one of the most painful, isolating kind of periods of my life, because I was literally being like I wished for this. I didn't want to be suffering in this imposter syndrome anymore. I didn't want to be in empty, one-sided connections that constantly fulfilled this like you're not good enough thing, because that may have fueled me for a while. It may have fueled me to produce more work, to do more, to do more, but when do you start like actually enjoying living and when do you start allowing yourself to appreciate the things that you did, that you're not like you didn't do those, like I don't know, like I don't know what I'm trying to say here. All I know is like I achieved those, like can I just acknowledge that that did happen? You know, like you did do that. So, yeah, it's been an interesting few years. And then you know painful, painful but like less depressive coming out of it.
Kimothy: 35:57
That's interesting.
Marcella: 35:59
Yeah, especially when you're like a sad kid your whole life. Like I was joking, I'm born sad. I have a sad girl tattooed on my thigh, like it's like you know. It's not to say that I'm not sad anymore about life or about things, but like to be perpetually sad because you just feel like you don't really have any reason for being here, but magic still holding me through it all. It's like there's something you know and maybe the it's less self pity or something I don't know. Now I'm yammering off on a tangent that I have no idea where this is going. So what's next?
Kimothy: 36:42
I like that, though, but the, the, that phrase, that magic's holding you. I really like that.
Marcella: 36:48
Oh, always I feel like it's been holding me since the like, you know, inception, unwillingly, like I didn't want to come in, but I did. You know everybody's like oh, you're so true to this to be here. I was like my soul was not, was like, no, I don't want to be here. Like I was trying to get out. And then they're like no, you're not done yet, You're going right back. Damn it, I know Cause. I tried again. You know like I tried to get out again at 18 and I got pushed back in my body. I'm like no, no, you're not.
Kimothy: 37:25
Gotta finish your peas. Yeah, what brings you the most joy in your practice? Let's turn it around a little bit.
Marcella: 37:34
The most joy in my practice. Oh I I love that. Oh gosh, and I don't know if this is necessarily can feel in my practice Like there's there's freedom in it and that's like. That's like the thing that all that my spirit wants is to feel free and I think magic allows me to live a very free life and I understand how privileged and fortunate that is. But I think that's like the and the fact that, yes, I can go to bat, go to war, for things you know, with my practice, but I also can go to love and to the impossible and to the magic and the miracles of things that can happen with my practice, because you can't have, I don't know, there's not much space for miracles and normie society, but in magic you can have miracles all the time.
Kimothy: 38:57
Yeah, yeah. What is your favorite tool? It doesn't have to be a physical object. It can be like a song or a certain smell you like to wear, or whatever, but what's your favorite tool and how do you use it?
Marcella: 39:12
Oh, it's like… just one? I love... it's interesting you said smell, cause I do love. I do love like oils and dressing like objects. Right? I think smell is so important in teleporting you and transporting you. But I mean, I have to say the good old standby. I love divination. Any form of divination is like I can't get enough of it. You know it's funny because I can pick up anything and be like, okay, let me divine with this. You know, like cards, I love reading coffee and scrying with different things. I love, um, psychometry, reading objects, like any form of divination I love, love, love. But it's funny. But, like you won't catch me, I don't do palm readings, although so many people ask me if I do palm readings, or they assume I do. I think I have a past life where I got like killed. I actually know I do, but I got killed because I was like a bad palm reader. But I love every form of divination that allows you to kind of utilize a tool or turn it into something to get information.
Kimothy: 40:37
Now I wonder if I don't like divination, because I don't really like touching things a lot. I know you don't, like you don't have to touch things to do divination, but right like, I don't like physical things.
Marcella: 40:49
No, well, I think the physical things are like. I just love the idea of objects holding energy. You, you know so.
Kimothy: 40:57
I think that's why I don't like touching things, yeah.
Marcella: 41:06
Yeah, yeah. That's why I don't like people touching me.
Kimothy: 41:11
Yes, that's funny. How do you pull yourself out of a magical slump?
Marcella: 41:24
I mean, I wish I knew how. I think they're part of the cycles of things. You know, I think you have to. Sometimes the slumps are not slumps, they're recharges. You know, I think it's. Am I in a slump or am I burnt out?
Kimothy: 41:44
Yeah, so many butts are hurting after that statement.
Marcella: 41:47
Sorry. Well, there's, I mean there really is burnout, you know I think. And then also, like there's, I mean there really is burnout, you know I think. And then also, like you know, I need to like, be inspired, I need to go, like, take classes, I need to go nourish my own magical life. You know, like it's not just I think, a lot of us in who have magical practices are also like in this place of holding a lot of space or giving, or giving and giving. And then the thing is you look back, you're like, oh, there's nothing left to give. Okay, let me give you my kidney, let me give you this. And then you're like, oh shit, why do I feel terrible? And then are like, why am I burnt out? Why do I feel like hot garbage? Why did that entity attach itself to me? Why, why, why. And because it's balanced and also there's seasons. There's seasons to, I think, your practice and how you're feeling. I don't think we're equipped to be on all the time.
Kimothy: 42:52
I feel like I just hurt my own feelings asking you that question.
Marcella: 42:55
I'm sorry, I think I well here and here's the other thing too is like I think we're so, we're so conditioned in like kind of you know capitalism and all that stuff, like you've got to be an energizer bunny or our worth is so tied up to our productivity and if we're not productive, we're like I'm a worthless piece of shit. And it's not true. It's like, actually, what if, like I've been feeling lately, I've had a hard time right, with this myself. I am not confused about my purpose, right, I'm not confused about what I'm supposed to be doing, but the outer world in financials and all that stuff and the lack of commitment or people showing up the way they used to, would have me thinking otherwise, right? So to my normie friends who don't understand cycles and things like that, they're like oh my God, you need to go get another job. You need to get a job, you need to go back to school, you need to get a job. And I've thought about it. Right, I think about having another job all the time. But there is also this part of me that's like. I also feel like there's this slingshot that's happening right now where, you know, maybe I'm not. It's not that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But what I'm supposed to be doing is that I'm in that pullback mode, the you know, getting ready to get like let go and go forward, but like I'm sitting here trying to work extra, extra on things that I think I need to be relevant because I need to have my work validated and vindicated by money. Like I know, money is important. Paying my bills is important, of course, it's important. It's important for all of us right now because we live in this society. But why is my worth or my magical practice tied into that?
Kimothy: 44:47
Why are you hurting my feelings right now? (laughs)
Marcella: 44:54
I'm sorry, look, I, I, I. I've been getting hit with this too, like big time. You know like it's been hitting. It's been hitting hard, right, my ego's like no, no. I don't want to know that. I don't want help. I can do this myself. I can figure it out. I have the solutions. I've gotten myself out of this before. Why do we need to drag ourselves out of some mud hole? For what? For what? Maybe we just need to lay our ass down? Let people help us? I'm saying this to you, but I'm saying this to me because I'm the worst offender. I'm hearing it. I don't want help. Are you kidding me? I don't trust your help. What do you, What do you mean, you're going to help me. What's, What's the catch?
Kimothy: 45:32
Yay, trauma.
Marcella: 45:35
Yay, yeah, and yay, historical trauma, like considering that, like I'm a descendant of people of the first light, like okay, okay, person, you're going to help me. When, then, what are you going to do? Are you going to take my home? Are you going to give me disease?
Kimothy: 45:55
Here's a blanket.
Marcella: 45:57
Yeah yeah, exactly Like, like, oh, wow, really, should I get on your ship? Like huh. So how could that go wrong? I know, but that's what I'm saying. All that stuff gets activated, right. So think about it, you know. Then then it's our job to go oh shit, I'm the magical person who has to unpack this, because that's also how I'm going to help someone else is, because I'm going to recognize their pain. They're going to recognize that I truly understand them, and that's also part of this like me growing and going forward. Maybe I'm going through this right now so I can help someone. You know, that was one of the things I learned. You know, not to trail too far off, but, like, my adopted dad died violently. He died in a, he was killed in an accident, motorcycle accident and at the time it was like, I mean, yes, painful, there were so many things right, I had no idea in that moment that all my clients, like for the next two years, we're going to be all people who dealt with this kind of loss. You know, and I'm not trying to put like a positive spin or tie a bow on something that was tragic or hurtful or painful, but like all of these moments that we're in right now, especially when you live a magical life, is because you are a beacon and you're going to be rippling that out to the people in your community or the people that you're helping, and you might just not be seeing it yet.
Kimothy: 47:30
That's so good, that's such a good descriptor.
Marcella: 47:38
It's a wild ride we're on, right?
Kimothy: 47:49
Yes, what is something you wish was discussed more in the witch community?
Marcella: 48:02
Sorry, I'm laughing, I understand understand. Oh my god. I know there are lots to choose from, but you know, gosh, I mean, like I'm like, literally there's like, thought bubbles, like multiple thought bubbles popping up. I guess I want to say being published or being consistently featured doesn't mean that your witchcraft is more valid than someone whose isn't.
Kimothy: 48:38
Absolutely, absolutely agree.
Marcella: 48:42
As someone who self-published for 9, 10 years and is currently published, it doesn't mean shit, honestly, because also, who inspires your favorite witch? Like who is your favorite witch inspired by? I would say.
Kimothy: 49:04
Oh, I may use that question on here.
Marcella: 49:06
Yeah, no, it's fine Because it's true. It's like who actually like? You'll have your favorite witch right and you think they're amazing and all that stuff. And maybe they are to a degree, but they have better PR or they have a better social presence or they've got. Yeah, I mean, it makes a difference, it does. Or maybe they're categorizable and you're not, you know like cause I have that too. I'm never featured in things. I've been doing this for so freaking long. The amount of people that tell me I inspire them but yet they don't actually like publicly share that, or they, you know, and am I a little like jaded about that? Yes, but also I've come to the conclusion that it's that's also. But I've come to the conclusion more you know, as I'm getting older, I'm just like, okay, like that's not my purpose. My purpose isn't to be famous. Like you don't have to be famous to be valid. You know Most it's, it's, it's, but and there's nothing wrong with that either. I always tell people do you want to be a witch or do you want to be famous? Because it's the same thing with people who want to be rock stars. Do you want to be a musician or you want to be famous and it's okay to want to be famous, like legit some people. That's their job, that's what they came here to do. They came here to be pinnacles, to be seen to be lighthouses.
Kimothy: 50:31
That's weird to think about.
Marcella: 50:33
It is weird, but it is some people's purpose just to be famous, right. But I think that there are some people that assume that, like, if you are a witch and you're famous, like you're top of the game or you're top of you know, like understanding there, there, there, for some people,
Kimothy: 51:09
I'm guilty of aiming that at myself in the imposter syndrome way, where I'm thinking well, I have taught a class now, but it's partly because I'm trying to beat my own imposter syndrome. But you haven't taught anybody a class, you haven't written anything, nobody really knows who you are. All of this means that what you're doing is not real and you are a fake poser. You should just go to your room and go to sleep and not wake up, and just stop, stop everything you’re doing.
Marcella: 51:25
Don't you think, though, that is just probably the social media public eye pressure like it has? If this was 20 years ago, like you, wouldn't have given a shit correct, because social media is and the internet has made life really weird it is weird, it's also grow up with it it's also paid. It's also pay to play now, like it used to be fun. Like I will say, I have a, I have a pretty large following, but like my following is organic, right, and it was also. I started doing Instagram when it kind of came out like originally, my first account was like 2011 and I was posting um card spreads and like weird, like altar pictures and like little things, almost like almost like a Tumblr, but on Instagram, and I gained a lot of followers, tumblr but on Instagram, and I gained a lot of followers. And then I had like an upsurge, I think, when my first deck came out, like that really connected me to a lot of people. So my first deck, I published um, self-published 2013,. It came out so between 2013 and 2015,. I blew up, right, but that's because it was more. It was still like I was like a feral kind of like training ground, like it wasn't curated, like it wasn't, like it wasn't bought by Meta. Yet you know, like it was still organic, it was still Wild West feeling. And I think now, because all those things are bought by big corporations and you have to pay to play, like you have to pay to have your stuff seen, you have to do this, you have to do that Like it's not, it's just like a different, it's a different beast and you can't rely on that to validate your work, like even I had to. Like really, really I've been suffering with that being like my work isn't being seen, people are asking me to do things, everything's transactional, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and being really hurt and heartbroken by it. But then really having to come to the grips of like it's not the same field anymore, it's not the same rules. Like what I loved about it before was there was no rules, so you can't rely on that to, to, you know, validate your work.
Kimothy: 53:47
Rationally. I understand that it's just a little quiet voice telling me you're a jerk Shut up that I have to talk to and say no. Say no you, because here are all these reasons that you're wrong.
Marcella: 54:02
Right? I get it, I get it because there's this part of us that's, it's a, it's a real deep wound. It's also like a big gamble to put yourself out there. So you know to be vulnerable, you know, because there are a lot of people. There's also more trolls now. I feel like everyone's a hater. You know, most people are haters.
Kimothy: 54:33
You couldn't do it before the internet because you'd get punched in the face.
Marcella: 54:35
Oh, I know when I well I used to do I would do little pop-up readings, like at my friends would sell vintage and stuff, like in at the hollywood farmer's market or like at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, and I would like set up my little sandwich board sign. Now, this wasn't that long ago. This is like 2010, 2009, 2010, 2011, right, even up until 2012. And I would get like who do you think you are? Only God can judge me, you know. Or like hate.
Kimothy: 54:57
Who's judging you homie?
Marcella: 55:08
Yeah, but it was like you know. Now you can't like turn and not find a tarot reader.
You know? Like it's like, yeah, it's, it's, it's just different now, it's just different now. So I also just tell people, like, use your discernment, um, but if this is for you, it's not. You know what's that phrase Like. If it's something's for you, it won't pass you. Feel that way about your work and your purpose, like if it's, if it's meant for you to do it, you're going to keep doing it. Why? Because it brings you joy. Why? Because your spirit and your heart need it. Right, you're going to do it. That's why I always say like I'm going to be around when the you know like I'm going to be around when the you know like I'm going to be doing this, even if other people move on from it because they found something easier, a quicker, get rich quick scheme to bypass their emotional healing and growth but get all the things they want, I'm still going to be here doing this. So, yeah, and I think you will too. I think it's just you know, and that's how you know like you're, like you know what. I maybe just also ask that you be supported, or call it. That's the other thing I have to keep reminding myself. Call in the actual like the places that you're wanted, not needed.
Kimothy: 56:28
That's so sweet, oh my gosh. Yes, holy moly.
Marcella: 56:33
I mean, that's what ended up, why I ended up here. I kept, I was praying, I was like I need to be where I'm wanted, not where I'm needed, cause I kept finding myself in places where it was so painful to exist.
Kimothy: 56:45
I was thrilled when I found out you moved here. Yeah, yes, because I've been following you since like 2000, I don't know, 17, 18, oh, my god, thank you, because I'm always like nobody knows who I am, I don't care like, but also I do care when I saw that nexus brought had was doing running a class with you, and then I was like, wait, what's happening?
Marcella: 57:09
Well, you know, I ended up there by accident in November. I came out here in November, and I was just so miserable in Long Beach and I was like I haven't done like a mini tour type thing since 2019. So I had shared on Instagram like is there anyone like anywhere I should pop up in the Southwest Cause? I always, usually go to Santa Fe and I had a friend who lived she lives here, she's from here and she was like you, silly goose, come visit me. I've been trying to get you to visit me for two years. So I was like all right, I'll go visit you. And then we figured out, like another friend of mine, who used to live in LA but like, born and raised in Tucson, moved back during the pandemic. I had no idea. And then was like oh my God, come here. I have a shop and her shop is um Savior, it's down in the uh. Uh, what is it called? Oh my god, merc, not, no, no, msa annex, down by mercato. Anyway, it's a vintage shop. And she was like come do a like. Do you want to do a meditation? Do you want to do a class? Turns out. I had a bunch of clients here. That's cool. I was like what, what do you mean? I have clients there. And then I come in and like the first night that I'm here, my friend's like, oh my God, I'm getting advertisements for this occult bookstore and oddity shop and I really want to go in but I'm too nervous to go by myself. Will you come with me? And I was like, yeah, let's go. You know, and it was. It was kind of a wild time. It felt like for the first time I felt like the light in my eyes turned on again, cause that morning she was like let's go get piercings. I was like, yeah, like I never do, like I was not doing anything, that made me feel alive. So we did that. And then we go to Nexus and we're looking around and we're like kids in a candy shop like, oh, look at this, look at this. And everyone was so nice and welcoming. And then I pulled down the Tarot Tashin book. I was showing my friend like, yeah, look, they even have the book. And then we went around and we were looking around some more. We went around and we were looking around some more and then, before we left, as we're walking around the corner, andrew, the owner of Nexus, comes over with the book and says, hey, would you sign this? And I was like, what, you want me to sign it? Like it was very sweet. But I was also like confused, cause I'm like you don't like how to, whatever. So I signed it and then, you know, he had said like, hey, like, if you're ever in the area and you want to, you know, maybe teach, we have the school, the classroom. And I was like, okay, that's very sweet. And I left. I had no like, I was like I wonder if I should live here. And then, like within 24 hours, I was like I'm, I think I'm move here, like my friend was, after being confused about where to be for years because I was going to move back to Providence. Actually, oh my gosh. Yeah, I was looking at places in Rhode Island and then my friend was like why don't you just move here? I'm going to like move into my house, like rent my house, I'm leaving, I'm rent, I need to rent my house, so why don't you? And I was like, well, why don't I rent it? You know, it was like this weird back and forth. So then, within a few months, I was like I'm getting rid of my whole life and I'm moving. And then Andrew messaged me um and said hey, I saw you're moving. Do you want to get on the schedule for a class? So that's how it, like all kind of it just was very organic and naturally unfolded and it's been a huge pivot because I've been doing everything online but also in LA. It's very industry, you know. Here I find that people are really interested in learning. They're really interested in the like grounded, like it feels more grounded. Here, you know, it's less about consumption or collecting people like Pokemon. About consumption or collecting people like pokemon, because I mean no shade, no shade la, but you'll probably be someone will be triggered. But it's like people like to collect psychics or witches, like we're pokemon cards. It’s really upsetting.
Kimothy: 1:01:41
Well, I'm glad you're here.
Marcella: 1:01:43
Thanks. Anyway, that was my long-winded version of how I got here.
Kimothy: 1:01:46
So I want you to think of the three biggest influences on your practice. That doesn't have to be people, it can be animals, or a book, or maybe a song, whatever a place. Three biggest influences. Thank each of those influences for what they do for you and how they've affected you.
Marcella: 1:01:20
Wow yeah, I would say first and foremost, I do want to thank ancient Kemet, ancient Egypt, the Black Land, as a huge bloodline, through my practice, through my traditions, through my guides and guardians that I work with, that have always been with me, that have always been with me, the lifetimes that I've spent there and also the bloodlines of mine that come from there and that into leading into my. I want to thank my ancestors, the lineages, the many lineages that I come from, that I feel like conspired to bring me here to do the work to help this lineage and life be acknowledged and healed. And I'm like it's a toss up between my familiar Lord, the bearded dragon, and her wild connection to the like that, the animal kingdom that I've been able to heal through by learning, because I actually do want to think yeah, I was going to say ETs, I do love extraterrestrials, but Lord really, um taught me how to love and I've, I, I, I really say that honestly. It's not just like trying to be cutesy, like I was really shut down, um, before 2020. And then I her, she came home with me in January of 2020. And through the shutdown, I had to learn how to care for another living thing and also learn a different language, learn how to connect, and I I've always like connected to animals, but I've been very cut off from getting close to anyone or anything. I think she really like I. I am so grateful for for my non-human relationship with her because, um, I think I don't think I could have even made it this long without, like, having that kind of connection, open me up or teach me how to love, because I couldn't. I was so frozen out of protection that I couldn't really meet anyone in a space of love fully.
Kimothy: 1:05:06
I am so glad you mentioned Lord. I was hoping you would. That would be one of them, yay.
Marcella: 1:05:13
So, yeah. So I would say yeah, Kemet, ancient Egypt, my ancestors and Lord.
Kimothy: 1:05:22
Do you have any advice for a new practitioner?
Marcella: 1:05:27
Stay curious when you make what you perceive as mistakes. Stay curious when you feel afraid. Stay curious even when you're doing really big things and or things are really like you have achievements or successes. Stay curious to like all of it. I think that's the only thing that can keep us going is staying curious.
Kimothy: 1:06:01
Now that you've seen what it's like to talk to me and seen what my questions are like, who do you think would be interesting for me to have on the show?
Marcella: 1:06:16
As a witch or just in general?
Kimothy: 1:06:17
Either way. Both.
Marcella: 1:06:22
I'm like there's like probably a few people. My first thought was my friend Jennifer Carmody. She's JKUltra on Instagram and TikTok. She's definitely something else. Also, madison Young she runs Open Eye Crystals in Los Angeles. Also, my friends Mark and Martin. They're like my I call them my fairy goth father witches. They're in Los Angeles as well. But, yeah, I just feel like those are a few people that are doing their purpose in magic. Even if, like Jen's work isn't magic specific, there's a lot of magic in what she does. Cool Thanks, sure. Sorry, that was not one, that was three or four.
Kimothy: 1:07:24
Actually, I like I'm going to be reaching out to these people, so that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there anything else you wanted to bring up? Anything you wanted to ask me, anything that I didn't ask? Anything that is happening. Are you going to be teaching anywhere?
Marcella: 1:07:42
Yeah, I mean, I have a couple of things coming up. I am teaching on October 6th at Nexus I believe it's the six, maybe I'm getting it wrong. Um, uh, I'm doing a past life, uh, healing meditation, and that is, yeah, october six, sunday at Nexus. I'm also going to be offering a new service I haven't told people I do acu-detox services, which is like a five-point needle protocol for the ear. It helps with detoxification, it helps you coming off of substance, but also it's really good for maintaining relief with anxiety and stress and insomnia. So I'm going to be offering that at Nexus in person on Thursdays, starting in October, by appointment. And I have my book that I mentioned earlier, Healing the Liminal, and that is going to be coming out February 11th. It is up for pre-order now and all of these things you can find out about through my social media or going to marcellakroll.com. It will bring you all to the all the links of the things that I have available. I also have a psychic self-defense self-published book that I put out recently. That is basically the psychic self-defense class that I teach, but in book form. That is basically the psychic self-defense class that I teach, but in book form. If you want to get that that is available through Amazon. And yeah, I'm trying to think of anything else I've got going on. I don't know. You can find all my like books and offerings and decks. I have four decks now like. All of that you can find online through my website. Thank you.
Kimothy: 1:09:31
Cool, yay, yeah. So the next two things. The last two things. Thing number one is please recommend something to the listeners. It doesn't have to be witch-related, just whatever you're into this week that you're like, hey, whoever, you should try this new sandwich. I got it Subway.
Marcella: 1:09:53
Whatever, oh, okay, I need to think on that.
Kimothy: 1:09:58
I mean, if it is witchy, cool, but if it's not, that's also cool.
Marcella: 1:10:08
Like something that well, I didn't finish asking you, I want to ask you what do you have going on? So yeah, what do you have coming up going on?
Kimothy: 1:10:11
I am actually going to be vending at the Witches Bazaar here in Tucson and it is at 1674 South Research Loop, suite 430. It's on October 12th from noon to 6. I'll have a bunch of witchy stuff and some jewelry and like altar tools. Nice, everybody should come check us out.
Marcella: 1:10:36
I was going to say, you know, just as a sidebar too, I forgot to mention that on October 5th, I am going to be at my friend’s, there is my friend, Adina runs Guided Flame Spa, and when we were talking about you know, things that I'm kind of like into right now. I'm really into trying to connect with all walks of community and she's a great sound healer facilitator and she does facials and stuff like that. But she is opening, having her grand opening on october 5th and, uh, there's gonna be vendors there local vendors like food and drink, but also a dj and, I'm gonna be there doing Get Your Shit together, oracle readings, which is a new service that I'm offering something I should do oh yeah, I'm excited. It's just like it's a silly thing, you know, like, but it's also like very just to the point and direct, you know. So it's like you know how, like, doing public readings can be a lot if you're not focused. I don't know if that's going to be fun. So it's a grand opening celebration on October 5th, from three to six. There's going to be raffles and giveaways. It's at 236 South Scott Avenue. Uh, downtown there's kind of by the Owls Club. It's in that same building. It's actually pretty cool. It's like an old morgue, the building, and then there's a whole outdoor area. So I'm going to be set up outdoors doing Get your Shit Together Oracle readings. There's going to be like free gift bags for like the first think 50 people and there'll be different vendors. I know like Beads Over Diamonds is going to be there, which I think is pretty cool. There'll be food and vintage and things like that. It's just gonna be a nice celebration of Guided Flame spa, which is Adina's skincare and energy work space.
Kimothy: 1:12:53
That sounds cool.
Marcella: 1:12:53
Yeah, I'm excited for her and for this. So oh, you know. And then the other thing I just forgot. You know, I don't know when this is going to air, but I am doing a two-day workshop at Cosme Astrology down in the Mikado district for Healing the Liminal, and that is October 12th and 13th. It's going to be a small group. Right now there's five people. I'm going to extend it out to 10. So there's five more spaces. If anyone is interested in that, I'm going to be teaching directly from the book Healing the Liminal that's coming out. It's two days, 11 to 4 each day, and it's $500 for both days, which I know for some folks right now that could be a little bit financially tied. But it's a lot of work included and I'm going to offer AcuDet detox to everyone who participates if they want it. And yeah, anyway, I don't know. If you feel called, let me know.
Kimothy: 1:13:56
Nice. I always think that I get better results when I work with the person in person and not just the book. So yeah.
Marcella: 1:14:03
Well, I want to show people too, like how to like utilize the book in practice, not just like, oh, I'm going to read this and then, like, the book is filled with stories, with parables of my. Basically, I channeled my ancestors and wrote short stories and they all have a lesson in them. And then, throughout the book I like, especially in the beginning part, there are, like, there's like a chapter on how to set up an altar for them. There's also like tools and exercises that I used to connect with them Because, like I said earlier, I really felt like it was the ancestor work that I was doing, that I, you know, I started coming up with creative ways to connect with them, even though I didn't have their names or you know their pictures or whatever ways to connect with them. Even though I didn't have their names, their you know their pictures or whatever, I offer those in the book as ways to connect to them, especially if you don't have the direct line to them. So I wanted to show people like this isn't just like a book of my yes, there's a lot more personal stories than like I've ever shared ever. Right, so there's definitely that. But there's also a Right, so there's definitely that. But there's also a lot of um. There's kind of like a supernatural bend to a lot of the stories. So I want it to be like a fun, creative, engaged, uh workshop experience where we're learning how to rewrite our own narratives, but we're also learning storytelling and we're doing healing. So there's also going to be sound healing as well.
Kimothy: 1:15:32
I love that Thanks.
Marcella: 1:15:34
I'm excited.
Kimothy: 1:15:35
I hope more people sign up. That's really cool. We'll see.
Marcella: 1:15:37
I think I also have to just trust that the right people will be there. Yeah, yeah, if anyone you know is interested in finding out more information about any of the classes I'm doing, I always tell people you know. Email me info at MarcellaCrollcom. It's a quicker response because I am trying to do work via DM, but so if you want a quicker response, email me.
Kimothy: 1:16:06
And I'll have links to Marcella's website down in the info box in the show notes. The last thing I ask of my guests is please tell me a story. It doesn't have to be witch related, it can be just whatever, just a story that you enjoy telling. Oh boy, it doesn't even have to be a story about your life, it can just be a story you heard once that you like.
Marcella: 1:16:32
Let me think. Let me think Okay, I'll tell you, I have a story. I'll tell you the story of Lord, how I was really like kind of in this autistic brain wormhole of wanting to kind of connect with a familiar. I have never had a pet, you know, my, my family, like they had a dog or whatever, but like it wasn't my dog, I never connect. I never connected, right. Also, like, growing up, my mother and my grandmother were really like anti reptiles and things like that. But I was like I'm like I'm really interested, but I kind of pushed it off Also, I just didn't feel responsible enough. And then, um, I started to get really like invested in learning more about bearded dragons and snakes, to the point where I ended up going to a first. I went to a reptile convention and I went to a reptile convention in Pomona and I met this couple who were from Oceanside and they had all these bearded dragons and I was having a full on anxiety overwhelm attack and the husband was like hey, do you want to come over here? So it was really cool. I like went to the side, he let me come over and just like let myself settle in and I and just let me ask him a bunch of questions so about husbandry and care, and then it was really sweet. Him and his wife were just like no one ever asks these kinds of things. So it's really good that you're getting prepped, because a lot of people will just show up to these conventions and just like grab an animal with no responsibility, like not a proper setup, nothing, just take it home and then like dump them or like bad things happen, right. So as a token or a thank you for, like you know, like I was spending time with them. They were like talking to me, they gave me this whole care sheet, they gave me all this advice and I was like, okay, I'm going to make like a perfect nest for a dragon Right, and I did. I spent like six months like researching, learning all this stuff. And then there was another months like researching, learning all this stuff. And then there was another. I tried to find one adopt, you know, like a rescue. There weren't any I could find. And then I was like there was another reptile exhibition coming up in Anaheim. So I was like you know what? I'm going to go down and I'm going to see those people again and maybe, you know, maybe, I'll find one, right.Also was really interesting. I don't know if this is part of the story or not. I mean it is, but it's not. I had asked. Actually I was in new Orleans. I think it was like two weeks prior to this reptile convention and I had an IFA reading and in the reading, the my friend's, i's ia, who is her spiritual mother, was like you have Eshu, like is your best friend now, if anyone knows who Eshu is, like Eshu is like the crossroads, the guardian, you know, like you talk to Eshu, and she was like you know, know, and I asked her I'm like is it okay for me to get a familiar, you know? And and she said yeah, actually, you know, if you're, if you're thinking about a familiar for Eshu, who's your best friend right now, you might want to consider getting a reptile. I was like, okay, we did a bunch of offerings, we did to the different, all to the different beings, and like my ancestors and that lineage and all this stuff. And what happened was is like all the roads opened. If you know, Eshu all the roads open. I get to the airport and they offer me $500, uh gift card. If I will delay my, give up my seat, but I only have to wait an hour to get on the next flight. I was like, give up my seat, but I only have to wait an hour to get on the next flight. I was like, yeah, I'll do that, right. So I did it. Lo and behold, I'm holding onto this card, right, and I go to this reptile convention and I, I got the approval, I got the spiritual approval to get a reptile. I right away walk in and I see the couple that helped me before I right away walk in and I see the couple that helped me before and we were like, oh my gosh, hi, nice to see you. And it was crazy, it was nuts, like it was so busy. People were being handsy. And also, I didn't tell you like I had met Lord's mother. Like at the last one I met her mom. Yeah, it was like a beautiful zero leatherback. So if you know about bearded dragons, zeros are the ones that are all white looking leatherback just means they're really smooth. And I got there and there was this one that like came up to me. It was super cute. But the, the guy he goes open your hands and he drops Lord into my hand by her tail, right at the time. They were like, oh, they said Lord was a boy, right, so I'm, and Lord just looked at me and in the chaos, all the other dragons are like freaking out, running around, like they're trying to get away. Lord just looked up at me and stayed there and I I was like okay, you're coming home with me. And they were like, okay, well, you know that one's $300 and you need some other like stuff and I had just I had that gift card so I was able to get to get her and the things she needed. And that was like to me like a confirmation, like okay, like you can do this, they need to come home with you. And Lord, and I like it was one of those things where I didn't know that her name was Lord. Then I just kept looking at her on the car ride and I was like, what is your name? Lionel, is your name? Larry, is your name this? And I said, is your name Lord? And like she whipped her head at me and looked, looked at me. I was like and, like yeah, that's my name. Then the that night I had a dream. I was in a cave with a bunch of giant frilled dragons and they were like her ancestors and they were telepathically telling me that during the winter they get really still and they don't move and it's part of them reserving their energy. Now, I had no idea that they went into brumation or anything but literally her ancestors met me in the dream that night and, um, her and I had this telepathic relationship ever since, and the reason why I'm bringing up this story is because she's such a powerful manifester and we manifest a lot together. And how I know this is because there's also this element of her. I will keep getting these reoccurring ideas that are not mine and I know they're hers. One of them, too is I was feeling like she needs a bigger tank. She needs a bigger tank, and when I was looking up the tanks, there was like a specific one, but it was I don't know. It was over $300. I was like I didn't have the money for that and I say I will get you a bigger tank, but I don't know when I'm going to do it. This is like this is a lot of money, would you know? The next day, one of my clients calls me and it says hey, I have a weird request. Can you do a pencil portrait of my daughter here and said the exact amount she's like I can pay you like $330, whatever it was like exact, it was like the amount of the, of the you freaking love, witchcraft, I know. And I just looked at her and I was like, Lord, I was able to do. But the thing is it was like not a hard task, like it was super easy for me to do this portrait. It wasn't like she wanted a painting, she wanted a sketch and I was like, oh, I can do that, and it was the exact amount that this tank. Like she wanted a painting, she wanted a sketch, and I was like, oh, I can do that, and it was the exact amount that this tank that she wanted. So it's like, whenever we meet, like these expansions and all these things, like literally it's like my familiar and her, like we have this like wild connection of like things happening together, you know. So, anyway, it was kind of like a roundabout story, but you get my drift. I love that. I love that. I just think it's so funny that, like you know that these guides, these deities, these beings, you know, like she is deeply, intrinsically connected to my ancestors, she's deeply intrinsically connected to my guides, my guardians, and she is my, like I would call her little Eshu, my little Eshu, like she has multiple nicknames, but because she is the road opener and so is Eshu and she is caring for her, is me caring for, for my you know connection to him, so.
Kimothy: 1:25:30
That’s so good!
Marcella: 1:25:34
It feels good for my you know connection to him, so that's so good. It feels good, you know. Thanks for letting me share that story.
Kimothy: 1:25:38
Thank you for sharing it. I love that Well. Thank you again so much for being on the show and for sharing stories. Thank you, everybody. Be sure to go down below and click in show notes. Go to Marcella's page pre-order that book, come to her classes and I will see you on instagram. Okay, bye!
Marcella: 1:26:02
Okay bye.
Kimothy: 1:26:04
Marcella. Hi, welcome to Hive House. It's not this beautiful closet, but okay so yeah say, say when.
Marcella: 1:26:26
When.
Kimothy: 1:26:28
Are you an optimist, a pessimist or a realist, and why?
Marcella: 1:26:35
I'm a bitter optimist. (fades out) (fades in) Spock.
Kimothy: 1:26:39
Yay, yes, like role model!
Marcella: 1:26:42
Yes, spock is definitely. Who else, oh my god… (fades out)
Kimothy: 1:26:50
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