We're returning to Anahata's Purpose 2022. I decided to split it up a little bit, so you get half before the holiday, and then half after- so you have something to occupy yourself during the weird time between the winter holiday and the new year. In this episode I talk to four witches; Ashley, the Farm Wife Witch, Lisa, Bonnie, and Ruth, about their experiences at the Purpose this year.
anahataspurpose.com
Anahata's Purpose 2022.
New Moon episode, part 1
Welcome back to Your Average Witch, where we talk about witch life, witch stories, and sometimes a little witchcraft on the full of new moon every month. We are returning to Anahata's Purpose 2022. I decided to split it up a little bit so you get half before the holiday and then half after, so you have something to occupy yourself during the weird time between the winter holiday and the new year. In this episode, I talked to four witches: Ashley the farm wife witch, Lisa, Bonnie, and Ruth, about their experiences at the Purpose this year. Now let's get to the stories.
Kim: How many times have you attended the Purpose?
Ashley: This is my first time.
Kim: What are you most excited for?
Ashley: The archery meditation, or meditation archery, however it is said.
Kim: Have you been to it yet?
Ashley: Not yet.
Kim: Well now, but you hadn't been one.
Ashley: No, no.
Kim: What made you come here?
Ashley: Well, to be honest, I heard you talk about it non-stop since you came back last year.
Kim: Because I'm fucking obsessed.
Ashley: We know. So I figured why not give it a try.
Kim: What are you hoping to get out of this experience?
Ashley: I am, I spent my whole life having the trauma of being alone and having to learn how to cope with being alone, and being okay with just doing my own thing and being by myself ,and I just wanted to get out of that, and be around a bunch of people which makes me uncomfortable, in order to be okay with that.
Kim: What's the most interesting thing you've learned so far?
Ashley: I have spent I don't know how many years trying to meditate and learn how to meditate. And I came here and I experienced my first time meditating. And I didn't think I could ever do it and that it was impossible.
Kim: And that was with...
Ashley: You were sitting right next to me. We were doing the Mercury Retrograde...
Kim: I know who it is, I want you to call her out.
Ashley: It was Theresa, and she is really good at doing a meditation, like session. Like wow, she has talent.
Kim: I fell asleep. Sitting upright.
Ashley: You're, yeah you were next to me sleeping, and Kristen was kind of kind of starting to fall asleep, and then there was me sobbing.
Kim: What has been your favorite part? Seeing the live. The Witch Bitch Amateur Hour. That was awesome. That was awesome. You know, it's it's one thing to like be by yourself and listening to the podcast by yourself, but to like be there with a bunch of people listening to it live was just awesome. And knowing that every part I laugh, at I'm not the only one that does that! *laughs* Because it makes me feel like I'm weird because I'm laughing at myself in the car.
Kim: How do you feel you've grown so far? So I definitely had, last night... We were tired, we got up at 2.30 to get here as soon as we could. Because I'm 8 hours away. And I was tired, and exhausted, and it definitely hit me like why everybody was down listening to the performance, I just wanted to go to bed. And I had that like kid at summer camp having a meltdown, "I just want to go home!" And looking back on that I was like "Wow, at 32. That was a little immature there, honey, calm down."
Kim: You're in a new situation.
Ashley: I know, and it was definitely, definitely that moment to where I was like, I just, I wanna go home. I wanna go home so damn bad, I don't, I am that person that is like...
Kim: "I've made a terrible mistake."
Ashley: Yes, exactly, because I don't fit into a lot of genres, so I'm just like, "I don't know if I fit in, and it's overwhelming, because I'm used to doing my own thing, and there's a lot of people and there's a lot going on..."
Kim: And now?
Ashley: Oh I'm definitely staying till Sunday. I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere, but last night I was ready to pack bags and just get in the car and leave.
Kim: It's hard.
Ashley: Oh, it is it's...
Kim: All my bees are little anxiety balls...
Ashley: We are! We...
Kim: Full of tension and vibration attention and vibration
Ashley: We, we are yeah, I'm laughing tears though.
Kim: That's how it is. What has been the most surprising thing to happen so far?
Ashley: That the drumming you dragged me to I actually enjoyed.
Kim: What do you mean I drug you to it? You carried the chair, that's not how dragging works!
Ashley: In my mind that's that is how it works.
Kim: I didn't know you didn't want to do it. I wouldn't have...
Ashley: No, you didn't, you didn't, you didn't, but I was just like "Oh, I don't know about this." But I'm like well.
Kim: I didn't either, and that's why I didn't do it last year, and I deeply deeply regretted it. The whole year I've been waiting for that and that fucking pita.
Ashley: That pita is... okay y'all if you don't come for anything else, come for the pita. That thing is amazing.
Kim: Why should people come?
Ashley: The pita. No, I'm just playing. Because no matter how much you feel like "Oh my gosh that's not who I am, I don't do that, I have a whole different life..." I'm a farm wife that shows cattle. I work on the highway and I'm one of the guys. I never thought I'd fit into this. I woke up this morning like, "I don't care if I even shave my legs," and I am one of those people, just so you know, I don't care if other people don't, but if I have to.
Kim: I don't care what other people do.
Ashley: I Don't care. I didn't shave my... It's just my husband doesn't even care if I don't, but like out in public in shorts, I, I have to. It just makes me feel weird.
Kim: You can have any, do your body any way you want.
Ashley: Oh absolutely. Like I said my husband doesn't care if I walk around in shorts without shaving my legs.
Kim: Do you have any tips for anyone who wants to attend next year?
Ashley: When you come and you have the first camp "I want to go home," just stay. It'll get better. It'll be okay. Sleep on it.
Kim: Put yourself in a position that you cannot leave without assistance of someone else.
Ashley: Yeah, I brought somebody with me. I couldn't leave without her.
Kim: Or like me. I'm trapped here until someone takes me somewhere.
Ashley: This is true. This is true.
Kim: Okay, so you've seen cabins, lodge, and you camp.
Ashley: Yes.
Kim: What do you recommend?
Ashley: If you love sleeping on the ground, camping is for you, which I am a former reenactor, but that was like my late teens and my early 20s and you know, I could conquer the world on 48 hours of no sleep. I am 32 now. I farm, I work on the road, and my back hurts. That's stupid. So be prepared for that.
Kim: Are you sleeping on the ground?
Ashley: Yeah. I have a, I have a, like a cushion, but it's not enough.
Kim: Okay. No, it's not.
Ashley: Yeah, no.
Kim: So that doesn't answer the question though.
Ashley: What? Am I sleeping on the ground? I'm sleeping on the ground.
Kim: No. Lodge. Lodge, camping, or cabin?
Ashley: I'm torn because even though you have people in your room, like you can have privacy in the bathroom. There's like no private, like you have curtains. Don't get me wrong. Just so everybody knows, like when you go take a shower, you have double curtains. Me on the other hand, I am a person that doesn't like to show skin, so it freaks me out. So that was a little nerve-wracking, but I was glad I was by myself this morning when I took a shower. So I would probably pick lodge. Okay, sorry on the long answer, but I felt like we needed an explanation.
Kim: People need to... you're not the only person who feels like that.
Ashley: Yeah, because you don't know.
Kim: And thank you for talking to me.
Ashley: You're welcome.
Kim: Hi Lisa, welcome to the show.
Lisa: Hi.
Kim: How many times have you attended Anahata's Purpose?
Lisa: This is my second time.
Kim: What are you most excited for?
Lisa: Working through my trauma and learning that people actually do care about me.
Kim: It's a hard one.
Lisa: It is because in my mind, people are just nice to me. They tolerate me. They don't actually enjoy me being around.
Kim: What made you come?
Lisa: So my cousin added me to the WBAH group right before Anahata's last year. And I don't, I don't know. I I took a leap because I, I have an adventurous heart, but I'm also like "New people. Yeah, more people to not like me." Yeah, and I just, like, all right, let's go. Melanie came, so I'm like "I'll just tag along with her."
Kim: What are you hoping to get out of the experience of being here?
Lisa: Learning to love myself.
Kim: This is a good place for that I think.
Lisa: Accepting that people do care about me. That my existence actually matters.
Kim: What's the most interesting thing you've learned so far?
Lisa: I was going to say how fucked up I am, but I already knew that. Um... I don't know if it'd technically be interesting. I'd have to say it was something I really needed to learn. With me having, I have a lot of kids. A lot of kids. And because of that, I had to keep order and schedule and like stand top of everything. And I learned I couldn't do that last year, because all the classes kept changing.
Kim: Yeah! *laughs*
Lisa: And then I would panic. You can't do anything like that in, that year. I would have my little paper written out. I'm doing this, this, this, this, this. And I don't have enough time to get to this class. And then, oh my god, they canceled this class and they moved it here. I gotta rewrite my schedule. I don't know how many times I did that. And then by the third day last year, I'm like, "You know what, this is where I need to focus. I don't have to control everything. I don't have to be on schedule all the time. I can just go and relax and calm down." And, and then Melanie's like "Stop following me!" I stayed glued to her hip last year.
Kim: Well, it sounds like you're doing good because when I asked you to come do this, you were like, "Yeah I got the Rhythmetrix later."
Lisa: I'm learning. I learned a lot last year. So this year's been... Yeah.
Kim: What's been your favorite part?
Lisa: The whole experience?
Kim: This year.
Kim: This year. Actually showing up and hanging out with everybody I connected with on Marco and feeling like I know these people. Like everybody's been through so much in this last year, and we all kind of leaned on each other in different ways to get through, you know, the divorces and new jobs and house losses and house purchases and medical issues, and It wasn't just superficial connecting.
Kim: How do you feel you've grown so far?
Lisa: I'm learning, I've learned, to verbalize my shadows. Verbalize my own faults inside me, instead of denying them, because they're there.
Kim: Was that from a shadow work class?
Lisa: Yeah.
Kim: I hate it.
Lisa: I know!
Kim: I still haven't gone, I'm afraid. There's one this morning I want to go to.
Lisa: I had to accept the fact that I I'm a very dishonest person. I put up a front like I'm in control and I've got this, when inside I'm broken, I'm shattered.
But Dr. Atlas said where we're cracked is where the light shines through. so. I'm trying to keep that.
Lisa: I don't want you to consider yourself a dishonest person. I know, I understand why, but self-preservation is important too.
Lisa: I need to learn how to do it without...
Kim: Assertiveness is so fucking hard to learn.
Lisa: Yes.
Kim: Hey, it's either aggressive or completely passive and I have not worked out aggressive. I mean, assertiveness!
Lisa: I was gonna say I don't know, you kind of come off that that strong-ass, aggressive, like "I've got this."
Kim: Poser? Yes. Poser? Yeah, absolutely.
Lisa: Yeah, that's maybe that's where I get the the dishonest part is the poser, the imposter syndrome, the "I have to put on this mask, I have to hide this part of me."
Kim: Otherwise, somebody is gonna hurt you.
Lisa: Yes.
Kim: I'm going through therapy too. *laughs* This is exactly what we work on.
Lisa: So take the class!
Kim: I am, I'm, there's some some shadow thing today I'm supposed to be taking around 10. What's been the most surprising thing this year?
Lisa: I mean I guess I could say that I was, I was a surprising thing this year.
Kim: That's good!
Lisa: The other night at the snack time with Snack Time, I was way out of my element and I felt fine. And I know it sounds silly but Melanie gave me some glow in the dark glasses and I put them on, and I'm like, "I am not Lisa. I am somebody else." and I was just way out of my original character and people loved it.
Kim: Because they love you.
Lisa: So that was really, I thought it was just because I was being weird and gave them someone to laugh at. That's where my mind goes.
Kim: No, you're revealing a secret part of your personality to us and we're saying it's okay.
Lisa: It's like I don't knowhow to respond back to that. But that was surprising to me.
Kim: I know, we don't know how to take compliments or things that are nice to us. We don't know how to do that, because we aren't given that when we're growing up.
Lisa: Right. And I'm finding that most witches have a lot of trauma, because we're weirdos.
Kim: Yes, because we are the weirdos, mister! It's cliche but it's true.
Lisa: Our soul needed something more and it wasn't provided when we were younger.
Kim: Why should people come here?
Lisa: Oh, because it's definitely a breakthrough. It's a breakthrough. I really don't know how else to say it. The community is amazing. It's safe. It is a safe place. Even like men using the women's bathroom, I don't feel like I'm going to be objectified or sexualized or anything. I'm like, I'm safe here.
Kim: Yeah. Do you have any tips for anybody who wants to attend next year?
Lisa: My tip is probably going to be a little blunt. People need to understand that this is not a rave. It's not a party. It's a wellness retreat. It's for breakthroughs and community and connecting and... yeah.
Kim: We have fun, but it's not all fun.
LIsa: Right. I understand some people are like, I just need to connect with my inner child this week. So I'm just gonna go with the flow, but I have seen some people this time that's more like, "I'm not taking those classes. I'm not doing that." Excuse me. I'm just gonna, you know, I've heard the conversations. Like, "That's fucking stupid and I'm not going to that and I'm just gonna like get stoned and just chill out listen to music." And I'm like that's not what the Purpose was for. And Anahata's Purpose, the whole purpose, is to grow. It's a wellness retreat, it's to learn how to be well. and I was hoping that the ones that did show up were authentically here to connect with the rest of the Beans, and the community. And I'm not gonna say most of them, but there's a lot of them, that that's not why they came, and that's, that's offensive to me.
Kim: Because we're doing a bad job, then, explaining what we're actually doing here.
Lisa: Yes.
Kim: It's not all about the bean fire.
Lisa: Right.
Kim: Thanks for being on the show.
Lisa: You're welcome.
Kim: Hello Bonnie, welcome to the show!
Bonnie: Hello, thank you for asking me to be here.
Kim: How many times have you attended Anahata's Purpose?
Bonnie: This is my very first time.
Kim: What are you most excited for?
Bonnie: I love to travel by myself. It's my favorite thing in the whole wide world, and I'm here alone, so I love the opportunity to be able to make decisions based solely on what I want in the moment, and not consider anybody else's feelings or needs. It's very hedonistic.
Kim: Whatever, it's great. I love it, too.
Bonnie: And in addition, obviously, the community and the classes.
Kim: What made you come?
Bonnie: The community and the classes. *laughs* It's been difficult for me to choose what to attend each day. I'm going to go home feeling like I missed good things, and I certainly did miss good things, but I probably got what I needed while I was here.
Kim: What's the most interesting thing you've learned?
Bonnie: Oh, I was surprised by the Higher Realms class. That was not what I expected it to be, but it was wonderful. I didn't expect it to be so academic, but that was really neat to learn about.
Kim: Apparently that's the class I was supposed to have taken because every time when I interview people and they're all talking about the same class, that's what I should have taken, and that's what I have to take next year.
Bonnie: Fair. I would take it again.
Kim: *yells at sky* I hear you!
Bonnie: I would take it again.
Kim: What's been your favorite part so far?
Bonnie: Oh... meeting all the witches! I Love the oppor- it feels like in this space everybody feels like they have the opportunity to be exactly who they are without apology, and that is so beautiful and welcoming and wonderful to see.
Kim: How do you feel you've grown so far?
Bonnie: Hmm that's an interesting question. I came here kind of expecting to have some... you know, shift. I think probably that's, I don't know if it's a goal for a lot of attendees, but I definitely expected to FEEL SOMETHING, and I don't know that I have? But that's okay too. I'm probably just adding to my toolbox. We'll see what happens, I'm trying not to place any expectations.
Kim: When did you get here?
Bonnie: I got here on Thursday around noon.
Kim: Okay. I would say that it takes a while for that to hit.
Bonnie: Okay. I have an 18-hour drive home.
Kim: Oh no.
Bonnie: So... *laughs* maybe it'll like, you know, everything will co-mingle and coalesce into some... and if not, that's cool too. I've been so grateful to be here with everyone.
Kim: What was your biggest surprise?
Bonnie: How few people there are here.
Kim: (in disbelief) There are so many people! There are SO many people!
Bonnie: I've been to some pretty big festivals in the past, and I I love the smaller community that is here.
Kim: Yeah.
Bonnie: Yeah, it's so wonderful going to classes and seeing faces from a class yesterday, or somebody you sat next to in the dining hall or stood in line at the bathroom with, but there's so many familiar faces in such a short period of time and that's been awesome.
Kim: Why should people come here? I mean, if you want to feel loved unconditionally and meet a bunch of cool people, and eat delicious food, and enjoy yourself in this most beautiful setting, and spend time being contemplative by the river, and drum, and do all kinds of really lovely, like, satisfying things, then you should probably come here. And if you don't want that stuff, then don't.
Kim: Do you have any tips for anybody who wants to attend next year?
Bonnie: I could have packed half as many clothes.
Kim: I kept telling people. I kept being like "Look, I'm bringing five shirts and two pairs of shorts."
Bonnie: You know what? Bring what you can bring, and the rest will be handled for you.
Kim: Yep. We got you.
Bonnie: Exactly. I've not experienced anybody who has had a lack or a need here. One that couldn't be fulfilled by a material object anyway. Which is, it's lovely.
Kim: Well, thanks for talking to me.
Bonnie: Thank you for asking me. I'm so grateful to be have been in your bed from last year!
Kim: *boisterous laughter*
Bonnie: That was like the most wonderful introduction to a person... "You're in my bed!" That was so, thank you for that bit of joy in my day.
Kim: It's my pleasure. I do what I can.
Bonnie: Thanks.
Kim: This is Saturday, the third day of Anahata's. Official. Third official day. How many times have you attended?
Ruth: This is my second year.
Kim: You know how I know that? Because we're fucking Friendship Cabin alum.
Ruth: Yep. Friendship Cabin for life.
Kim: Alumni? Alum. I don't know.
Ruth: OGs. Yeah.
Kim: What are you most excited for?
Ruth: I mean, other than seeing...
Kim: No, that counts.
Ruth: Other... I mean, yeah. I guess the thing I'm most excited about then is seeing the Beans that I met last year and forged very good friendships with. So, it's good to see my chosen family again.
Kim: What made you come?
Ruth: Chosen family. But also, just the chance to be in this environment again, like just a very accepting circle of just beautiful people.
Kim: What are you hoping to get out of the experience this year?
Ruth: This year, I'm hoping just to connect more with the nature in this area, because I'm very earth-based in my practice. And last year I was I was super into all the classes, I don't know how many classes I went to, but this year I'm just like "Okay I want to go down to the creek, spend some time at the creek, I want to lay under the trees..." and just I'm getting to know the land and the land spirits this time. I mean I'm still doing classes, but I think the nature is the thing I'm most interested in right now. Because she has a lot to say, and I didn't get to hear everything last year.
Kim: She jumped straight up my dick last year.
Ruth: She did.
Kim: "Hey let me lean on you a little bit!" is what I heard. What's the most interesting thing you've learned?
Ruth: I did a class yesterday and it was the Intro to Energy Work class and one of the things that they touched on was that you could use your own body as a pendulum. So I've never heard of that, so I was very intrigued. And they have you try it, and you stand, you know, with your feet somewhat shoulder-width apart, and like I guess forward is yes? I mean I guess it can be different depending on...
Kim: It's like Your Body Keeps the Score only pendulums?!
Ruth: Yes, we kind of, but yeah, it's like you ask yourself and or ask your body an obvious question like "Am I wearing a tie-dye shirt? and it you know as soon as you get like, "Is forward yes, is backwards no," which mine is. I was like, "Okay, am I wearing black pants?" and I lean forward as a bullshit question, but it was completely involuntary. Like you stand there with your eyes closed, you just feel your body pull forward, and it's like what? and then you ask yourself a question that you know is no and you lean backwards. It's just so strange, it's like okay, that's a new concept. I might have to try to hone that, because I don't always have a pendulum on me.
KIm: How do you feel you've grown so far?
Ruth: Since last year, or...
Kim: Either one.
Ruth: Okay. I feel that I've I've grown a lot, like just in the in the way of healing. I've got a lot of trauma that I've had to address, especially. Last year I did the Confronting the Shadow class last year and that was, that was that was heavy, but it was definitely needed.
Kim: Yeah.
Ruth: I've come a long way healing spiritually, and just learning to accept myself as I am, and that it's okay to be damaged. Because everyone is.
Kim: What's been the most surprising thing?
Ruth: I think just in my own willpower to go "Okay it's scary to travel alone but here I am again. Yeah I don't know, it's just it's strange to me to go "Okay I usually don't leave my house, I'm not really a people person, but here I am and I'm just vibing with everybody." so I mean it's a pleasant surprise.
Kim: And we're fucking excited to get here.
Ruth: I know.
KIm: And fucking traffic- I'm like "Fuck yeah, let's go to the airport NOW."
Ruth: Yeah I was like, I showed up to the airport like two and a half hours early. I was like "I'm ready, let's go, let's go," and my partner, he's like "You, you're not like this." This this is the exception.
KIm: Why should people come here?
Ruth: I think people should come here... I mean one, just to experience it. Because it definitely is its own creature. It's its own experience. Anahata's Purpose has a lot to offer. You know, come here to get healing, to accept what can't be changed, and realize what can be changed, and to work towards those changes. Because I mean this place, this place is very fun. There's a lot of fun to be had, but you're gonna have to work for those laughs. You're gonna have to pay for those laughs with tears, but they're gonna be tears of healing, so. And even if it's tears of sadness because you're working through something, the support net in this place is just so incredible. That... sorry, it just makes me want to cry a little bit thinking about it. But just the support of this place, this group, is just beautiful. So I mean if you feel that you're not accepted and you're not lovable, like, you are, and you should come here and prove that to yourself.
KIm: Do you have any tips for anybody who wants to attend next year? Practical, if possible
Ruth: Yes. If you are of the pale-skinned persuasion like I am, bring a hat and sunblock. Oh my god, Kim.
Kim: I know it's not bad, but it's tacky.
Ruth: Nice.
Kim: I'm showing her my my scorch marks, shorts marks, because at the WBAH live yesterday I was, I had my knees in the wun but not the rest of me.
Ruth: We were certainly baked Beans.
Kim: I got red knees.
Ruth: But practical tips... bring, definitely bring sunblock. I mean even if you have darker skin bring sunblock, because skin protection is important. Bring a hat.
Kim: mm-hmm.
Ruth: Wide brim especially, if you want to witch it up, you know.
Kim: Or if you just have a big-ass garden hat, like me, because that's why my shoulders aren't burnt. My big-ass hat.
Ruth: That too. And also, yeah, it does get kind of chilly here. Last year we had a beautiful weather bubble and it seems that we do this year as well.
Kim: Because we're all witches and we said so.
Ruth: Yes, yes. I'm just glad I didn't do any weather work for it because it should be, like the rain...
Kim: That's why I don't fuck with weather magic.
Ruth: "It's a hundred and ten degrees in Pennsylvania!" like no damn it.
Kim: I don't fuck with it.
Ruth: Yeah definitely. Bring something warmer to have at night and bring clothes that like you can go down to the creek with, because the creek is an awesome place to connect and cry.
Kim: Wwater shoes.
Ruth: Water shoes, definitely.
Kim: Have you been in the lodge rooms?
Ruth: Like to stay? to sleep?
Kim: No, just so you know what they look like, and can compare and contrast and say lodge vs. cabin vs. camp.
Ruth: I think last year I briefly saw one of the one of the lodge rooms briefly, briefly, last year. I was just helping someone bring some stuff up there. They were very nice, very nice accommodations. It seemed like there were less beds.
Kim: There are.
Ruth: Okay, less beds. In the cabins, the cabins I think there's only ten people in mine right now but yeah, the cabins are very communal.
Kim: Yeah, I needed that last year.
Ruth: Yeah, I took a page from your book last year, and I actually have a sheet up around my bottom bunk, so it's... private.
Kim: That's good!
Ruth: I can get changed, change there if I need to.
Kim: Yeah, you can have your top off if you need to. Sleep with your mouth open and not be worried about people going huh huh huh. Which we shouldn't worry about anyway because this is Anahata's and everybody loves each other, goddammit.
Ruth: Yes. And the campgrounds are gorgeous.
Kim: But you can't have a fire, so be aware. You cannot have a campfire at your camp.
Ruth: You can bring an LED fire. Just lights.
Kim: Which works.
Ruth: Yep.
Kim: Well thank you for talking to me.
Ruth: Yeah you're welcome, thank you for having me.
Kim: And that's it for this episode. be sure to catch the last of my Anahatas Purpose interviews on Boxing Day December 26th.
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