Allanah of Green Space Readings. Mediumship, Kids, and Spirit

Allanah talks to us about finding time for her practice, why you should talk during your readings, and how she feels about closed practices.

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Welcome back to Your Average Witch, where every tuesday we talk about witch life, witch stories, and sometimes a little witchcraft. Your Average Witch is brought to you by Clever Kim's Curios. 

In this episode we talk to Allanah, a medium in Texas. Allanah talks to us about finding time for her practice, why you should talk during your readings, and how she feels about closed practices.

Now let's get to the stories!

Kim: Allanah, welcome to the show.

Allanah: Hi.

Kim: How are you?

Allanah: I'm nervous and I'm scared, all at the same time. (laughs)

Kim: (squeaks)

Allanah: Yeah, that's exactly the noises I make all the time.

Kim: Would you please introduce yourself and let everybody know who you are and what you do and where they can find you?

Allanah: Yes. So my name is Allanah. Hi, how you doing? I am the owner CEO of green space readings. It's official. It's like government official. I am also an Instagram at Green Space Readings. I have my website, Woo woo! GreenSpaceReadings.com. Yeah, do you know how awesome that was?

Kim: Mhmmm.

Allanah:  Like oh shit, it's mine.

Kim:  I'm so proud of you.

Allanah: I own it. It's mine I'm also on facebook at greenspacereadings.com and I am starting my own patreon that will be coming up soon.

Kim: I am very excited for that.

Allanah: Me too.

Kim: So what does it mean to you when you call yourself a witch?

Allanah: So I really didn't start out with witchcraft, at least not what I thought was witchcraft. I started out with tarot cards and feeling energies and that's just what that was. And I don't know if that's considered witchcraft. I guess it would be like, if you wanted to give it a label, like divination witch. But when I called myself a witch for like the first time, like when I posted it on Instagram, where it's like your information, where it's like this, this, this. And I was like, and witch. And I was like, yes. I felt like I'm claiming me. I am being more me. And I am, oh, not that I'm okay with me but like I am accepting all of me and all of my imperfections and my perfections and everything.

Kim: Yay. Do you have any family history with witchcraft or the occult or any metaphysical stuff?

Allanah: My mom is a medium, so it is very accepted in my family. I think I am very lucky to have had somebody who is so accepting of the things that I do, because she does that shit herself. Let's see, is there anybody else? My grandma... okay. So my grandma, I don't I don't want to say she's a witch but like she did like the whole like egg cleansing stuff on us. So that's what we had going on. We'd had, my mom was always like cleansing the house and shit. Cause from what my understanding is, when you are a medium, you're like, you're like a lighthouse. So it brings in a lot of spirits. So we would move and our houses wouldn't start out haunted. But when we got there, they would become automatically haunted. So we had to do like a lot of cleansings in our house all the time because there was always shit happening. So yeah.

Kim: So can you tell us about your, do you have a daily practice or anything, any consistent rituals that you'll share?

Allanah: I used to, I used to. Like, I used to do the whole... it's just very simple. Like I get my coffee, I put in all my creamer, my sugar, and then I would stir in my intentions, especially when like my kids were home because I needed all the patience I could get. (both laugh) So I would be like, please give me more patience than I had yesterday. Thanks. Love you. Bye. (laughs) But now I really don't. And that's fine. That's cool. I mean, sometimes you do sometimes you don't.

Kim: You come in and say hello to us in the mornings.

Allanah: I do. There we go.

Kim: That's not, it's just a ritual, not witchy.

Allanah: Yeah. So I do that. If you haven't joined Kim's Patreon yet, fucking do it. Do it right now. Just stop listening, join it, and then come back. But I do. I come in every morning. I try to. Like if my kids are on vacation, that's definitely not happening because there's, that's a lot. You've heard them. They're very loud.

Kim: Yesterday I actually was concerned, because... (Allanah laughs) I had never heard that before.

Allanah: My kids are extreme gamers. They get their loudness from me. And I tried to tell them, Hey, like we have indoor voices, but at the same time, like, use your goddamn indoor voice! (laughs) But they're fine. Don't be concerned. They yell all the time. So I jump on in the morning, I say, hi, how are you doing? Drink your water, do your stretches, which I don't do any of and I probably should. Okay.

Kim: Well now we know.

Allanah: Right? Just every morning, drink your goddamn water, Allanah, just fucking do it. Go just, and I want to be on the marco, show it on the marco that you're drinking it. So yeah, I do that and I tell you, hi, how's it going? I listen in for a little bit and then I just crochet the rest of my day.

Kim: That sounds like a good life though.

Allanah: It is. It is very nice.

Kim: How would you say witchcraft has changed your life?

Allanah: Honestly, it has really made me more present. It has helped my, it has helped my parenting. Because with me, when I had my children I was very like all about my kids, all about keeping my household. Okay, so much of the point. We're like, I didn't take care of myself. And this is gonna sound real gross, but I did not bathe regularly. I brushed my teeth every day; I did not bathe regularly. I didn't change my clothes regularly. Because I was so focused on everybody else. But when I started getting into my practice, I really realized that I needed to be happy to be able to make the household work better or to be able to keep my sanity.

Kim:  I'm so excited for you to come to Anahata's.

Allanah: Same!

Kim: Because every year I hear from- I'm gonna, it's women that I talk to mostly, because not very many men go. But also, women are the primary caretakers of the house and the family and so all these women go there and they say this is the first time I've ever done anything for myself in my life, and they come to Anahata's. And I know that's the situation for you, and I'm so excited for you!

Allanah: Yes! Ahhh! Okay, so I have never been, don't mind my chair, it's very squeaky. I have never been anywhere without somebody, especially my mom. Me and my mom do everything together, especially like spiritual wise. Like me and my mom used to go to like group sessions together. We used to go to like meet other psychics together. So this is like a very big step for me. Like this is the furthest I would have ever been from where I was born. And it is scary and it is intimidating and this also makes me want to puke, but I'm so excited. And I get to see your face! Ahhh!

Kim: I know, I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready to see everybody!

Allanah: Yes! I know, I'm so excited. I can't wait to meet everybody and just be like, your faces! Because I honestly want to see, um, I just want to see Andrea put something to her face and measure it. (laughs)

Kim: I know! Did you hear that we're gonna make a big paper mache Andrea head to carry around to measure things at Anahata's?

Allanah: (laughs) We're just gonna have to just do it.

Kim: Again, more patreon jokes that nobody's gonna get unless you're in the Marco group.

Allanah: Exactly, join it right now.

Kim: Sorry to everyone. What would you say is the biggest motivator in your practice and has it changed since you started out?

Allanah: My biggest motivator in the beginning was, and this sounds real bad, but it was me. And that's fine.

Kim: It's not bad, we're allowed to care for ourselves and want things for ourselves.

Allanah: I think it's because I still have that, that I'm mom, I need to take care of everybody else type of mentality sometimes. And don't get me wrong. It has changed since then, but it was me. I really wanted to focus on doing my card readings and working on that and being able to help other people. But in that process, I ended up doing like a fuckload of shadow work and I did not realize I had so much trauma. (laughs)

Kim: Surprise.

Allanah: Surprise! Trauma! You get trauma, and you get trauma!

Kim: I have some, thanks.

Allanah: No, it's okay. I have enough. (laughs)

Kim: What about now? What's the biggest motivator now?

Allanah: Now it's going to be my kids. For me, I take more of a, like... (sighs) For me, it's more mental and emotional stuff, not so much like the spells I can do or things like that. It's more of how can I help you get to where you need to be? So like when it comes to my kids, I really focus on I need you to be emotionally open. I need you to be mentally okay. So I really focus on these things now. Making sure that they're good, they're okay, because I don't want them to be riddled with anxiety. No, I don't want that! (both laugh)

Kim: Do you ever deal with imposter syndrome?

Allanah: All the fucking time. Do you know how hard it is to do a reading and have somebody just have a blank stare at you and you just be like, am I right? Am I wrong? Tell me something. And they'll be like, no, no, no, everything was good. I'm just taking everything in. I'm just like, fuck, you got to give me just a smidgen of, just don't stare at me. I get it all the time because it can be so hard. Because Okay, so I get all of my like, my information like in my head. So I'm not crazy. It's just the voices in my head. So I get lots of pictures, lots of voices, I get lots of scenarios, things like that. And it is, sometimes I'm just like, am I crazy? Like, am I just pulling shit out of my ass and handing it to you? Or does it make sense? Like, help me help you.

Kim: So how do you beat the imposter syndrome?

Allanah:  I wait until the end of the reading and they're just like everything you said was right, and this and this is going on, I'm just like I wish you would have told me this like in the middle of it so I wasn't so freaked out. I find a lot of my imposter syndrome is just because of me not trusting the things I already fucking know I can do. And I hate that, and I'm really it's something that I'm always constantly working on, and I will probably always be working on. But It's it's a process.

Kim: You can do it.

Allanah: I'm trying. I'm trying really hard.

Kim: What would you say is your biggest struggle when it comes to witchcraft?

Allanah: Time. Time is my biggest struggle. In the beginning, it was learning how to work around my children. Because I had, well, when I was starting out, it was okay. And then boom, COVID happened and all my kids were home and I was like, I need y'all to get out of my house. (both laugh)That was the biggest struggle. Because I had to make sure, I already had, I had my little one and she was about what, three, two, around there. My middle child was nonverbal and in a special education pre-K. And then my middle child and my oldest child was doing, everybody was doing homeschool. So I had to make sure that he had his space to do his stuff. And I am so blessed with him because he just does it, and he doesn't say anything, and he gets good grades, and you do you, bro. But my middle child is the one that struggled because we have to be on, we had to be on the tablet. And he's nonverbal, and he doesn't want to do these things. He doesn't, he doesn't want to do them. You know what I mean? Like, first of all, he's like four or five and doesn't want to do the shit. I can't blame him because I don't want to do it either. But once they, once they left and everybody went back to school and then my youngest thank, thank, thank goodness, my youngest finally went to school. Because you've, okay. So, okay, my youngest, okay. My youngest, let's just first of all talk about her, her signs, okay? Like her sun, moon and rising. She is an Aries sun with a Scorpio moon And a Scorpio rising. That girl is fight all the time. And it is hard. It is so hard because she literally likes to fight and that's fine. Like we can go hands, but she also ended up being on the spectrum as well. So right now she is in pre-K for special education, which has been great for her. She's really learned how to calm down a lot. So we're not always fighting. But finally, with them being out of the house, I'm able to have the time. But when they were in the house, I did this meditation and it was so loud. And if you have kids, you know that they don't leave you the fuck alone for anything. Like you can't open snacks without them hearing it from across the hall. (laughs) But everything was so loud, but I went into this very deep meditation, surprisingly. And I kind of was, it was like a higher self meditation. And it basically, I told myself that you are not going to be able to learn how to do the things without them being here. This chaos is something you need to learn to work in. And I was like, well, fuck. OK. So then after that, I started doing my readings and I did my readings in the kitchen with my daughter on my back, like, Mommy, I need juice, or asking for something, always constantly needing something. Somebody was on my back, one of those kids, I don't know. But they were always on me needing stuff. I had to learn how to do things with them. And it was just, I just had to do it. But now I have the time to me. So it's nice. 

Kim: Yay.

Allanah: Yeah.

Kim: I do remember when she first went to school, you said she got in trouble for doing parkour through the room. (laughs)

Allanah: Oh my god, okay, so, okay, my daughter is a handful. We call her Satan. I call her Satan. I don't know if anybody else appreciates that, but I sure do. I made her. I can call her whatever I want to. Yeah, she likes to jump on tables and yell no and then jump off the tables. And they said she was doing really good with that and then I went to school to pick her up and I asked, how is she doing? She's parkouring on the furniture again. I was like, Oh, I thought we were past this. We are not. But that's what she does at home too. So I can't be mad.

Kim: (laughs) What brings you the most joy in your practice?

Allanah: So I think it's the feedback from clients that I get, because most of my stuff is really  with tarot or mediumship. So when I'm doing readings for people and I'm letting them know like, Hey, this, this, and this are happening, this, this, and this is what you need to look out for, or this is what needs to change. I love it when they come back, like maybe a week later and be like, you know what? You were completely right. This person is who you said they were. And I was better off for leaving them. Or like when I'm doing mediumship and they tell me, like, I literally just left this for them at their gravesite, and thank you so much. And this is something that we shared together. It's the validation that I love, and being able to know that I am helping people with what I am doing.

Kim: That's so cool.

Allanah: Right? I cry every- okay. So every time I do a mediumship reading, I cry. Every time, every time I cry. So I had one a while back ago and it was somebody trying to connect with a older woman that felt like a grandmother figure, that she presented me with like her holding a dog, like a small dog or like a bear, some type of small like animal. And I was like, she's showing me this small dog or like stuffed bear. And they, uh, they told me they're like, well, we just got a dog and we named it after her. And I was just like, oh my god, I just started crying. I was like, that's so beautiful.

Kim: Can you do distance work?

Allanah: Yes. So, I also do Reiki and I do offer like long distance healings. I only do them for 15 minutes because, again, children, but I do long distance Reiki. My mediumship is done long distance. All my readings are honestly, they're done through text message, Facebook Messenger, Instagram Messenger, because I am a hermit. And again, everything that happened, everything that I started doing happened during COVID. So nobody was allowed in my house anyways, and I'm not going to anybody's house to risk myself. So I had to learn to do everything online, which is great because I don't remember shit when I get my readings done. I'm always upset because I'm trying to take notes when I get them and I'm just like missing half the reading. So when you get a reading with me, everything's already written down. I send pictures of the cards, I tell you what I'm seeing and hearing, and we talk back and forth like that. And I love it because my clients get a copy of the reading as well.

Kim: Cool.

Allanah: Yes.

Kim: I need to do that.

Allanah:  Yes. (laughs)

Kim: What is your biggest fear in witchcraft?

Allanah: I thinkmy biggest fear would be like the concerns when it comes to my children. My son is very, my oldest son knows what I do. I am honestly afraid that he will go to school one day and be like, my mom's a witch! And then everybody will stone him. Or like everybody will pick on him because his mom's weird. I don't want my kids to be hurt because of what I know I need to do.

Kim: What is something you did early on in your practice that you don't do anymore, and why don't you?

Allanah: Ugh. Okay, so when I actually started doing like candle work or like getting into like the more witchcraft part of things I guess you would say, I did that shit every day. I was like you know we're gonna do? We're gonna make black salt today. You know I'm gonna do? I'm gonna do a jar for myself today. I'm gonna do this today, that today. And I burnt myself out not realizing what the fuck I was doing. (laughing) I didn't know how to not use my own energy. I didn't know how to ground myself. I was just like fuck it we're gonna do all the things, why the fuck not? I do not recommend.

Kim: How do you do it now?

Allanah: Now, now I do more of whatever I feel called to do. So it sounds weird, but if spirit says to do something, I fucking do it. It's basically it. Like if they tell me, hey, you need to leave this thing, you need to stop doing this thing. And I don't listen to them. They will make it worse for me until it eventually like just gets pushed on me. So now I just do whatever I'm told. Okay. Okay, so one time I was in the kitchen and I was making dinner, cleaning, washing dishes, doing whatever the hell I needed to do. And a voice inside my head was like, Hey, you got to go roll up your windows because it's going to start raining. And I said, okay, I will do it right after I'm done putting the food in the crockpot. Put the food in the crockpot and I started sweeping and they yelled at me, go roll your windows up right now! I went outside and it started raining. I was like okayyy... (laughs)

Kim: What is your favorite tool in your practice, and how do you use it?

Allanah: Oooo, okay, so my favorite tool is gonna be my tarot cards. I love them. Can I read them for myself? Absolutely not, because I get like... merp! (laughs) Like I'll just pull them out for me and I'll just be like this doesn't make any sense, I don't understand any of this. I don't even know what these cards mean. But when I do it for somebody else it just It feels good. It feels good. Like I know exactly what's going on in your life. I know exactly everything that every card says and I love the fact that it's, I guess I would be my favorite tool then, me.

Kim: Nice. I've been waiting for somebody to say that!

Allanah: Well, because don't get me wrong, the cards help me to really see what's in front of me. They keep me grounded, I would say, but it's a lot of me that gets used. Like my brain is the one that's seeing everything. You know what I mean? It's my third eye. It's my voices inside my head. Also, I'm a Leo, so.

Kim: If you could only recommend one source of information, like a book, podcast, YouTube channel, whatever, to a new witch, what would it be and why?

Allanah: Okay so, you know, I thought about this for a while too, and I was like, I'm gonna grab the book out. And of course I did not. But (laughs) so let's see if there's one thing that I really enjoy. Like if you're really trying to get on like that, your herbal shit down. I love, I love Juliet Diaz and Plant Wwitchery. I love that book. I gobbled it up. It was amazing. And it has it has houseplants too! And I fucking love houseplants!! I was like yes, give me! I'm like and you can do this and you can do that and everybody's getting in my house in a way that fucking makes sense now. (laughs)

Kim: Okay now you just mentioned a little bit ago that you haven't really traveled a lot. If you, would you say that growing up where you did shaped your practice and how do you think it would be different if you lived somewhere else?

Allanah: So I am not, so I know I live in Texas. I am not from Texas. I am from California. And I actually did a little bit of tarot reading out there as well, when I was in high school. And I think that if I would have stayed out there, I probably would have done it a lot longer. I probably would have just been like, fuck it, this is it, this is everything. But moving to Texas, it really changed my mentality. Like, because of the age I was at, I was not okay. But with the gifts that I have, it never stops. It's always there, even if you don't want it to be there. It's always there. So I think I would have just been practicing longer.

Kim: I don't understand what you mean by practicing. You're practicing now. How would it be longer, unless you went back in time?

Allanah: I stopped. I stopped practicing.

Kim: Oh. Hello. (both laugh)

Allanah: So when I moved from California to Texas, it's okay. It's all right. When I moved from California to Texas, I lost, I lost all of my stuff. That included my cards. I lost, yeah, I lost everything. And that's, it's fine. It's okay. I have a lot of stuff now that I don't need, so that's fine. But I just would have been doing it longer. I think I would have felt more comfortable with what I was doing if I'd had stayed in California because people already knew what I was doing, instead of coming out here and then meeting people that didn't, or being in relationships with people that didn't understand what I could do. Like a lot of the relationships I was in viewed me as I'm a bad person because it's, it's brujería, it's, it's taboo. You're not supposed to be doing those things. And I'm just like, well, okay. And I didn't do it. And I didn't touch anything. And I've dabbled in it here and there only to have people tell me that I was bad and I was doing shit to their family, which I was not. And that really made me stop doing everything until I got with my fiancé, uh, my fiance who encourages me to do all the things all the time. Yeah.

Kim: I'm glad you came back to yourself.

Allanah: Me too! It took me a while. It really, really did because it's, I didn't want to be viewed as a bad person. I didn't want to be made out to be evil because of the things that I can see, or the things that I know. Like it's not my fucking fault, like that's just in me, bro. (laughs) I can't turn that shit off.

Kim: How do you pull yourself out of a magical slump?

Allanah: I don't. Spirit does. So I went through the, what is it called? I go through seasonal depression, so when winter comes, fuck everything. I am a spring summer person. But I was really, it was really, really bad. I was really depressed. And I kept I got the call. I was like, I got the call to go outside like not like a literal ring ring. Hello, bitch, go outside. (both laugh) No, it was the voice inside my head. It was the voice inside my head was like hey, you need to go outside and check the plants that have died because, you know, I was barely into gardening at that time. And all my plants had died, obviously, because winter and I went outside and I had some, I had some bulbs and I was just like brushing off all of the debris that I left there. And I saw that they were blooming and that just reignited that fire that I needed. And then my cilantro fucking lived, and I was like fuck yeah cilantro, do you! 

Kim: Yay, wow!

Allanah: Yeah, I was surprised. I ate it though and it was delicious.

Kim: That's what you were supposed to do.

Allanah: I know, but a lot of people don't like cilantro.

Kim: They're sad people. I'm sad for them.

Allanah: I am too. Haven't you heard that some people think it tastes like soap?

Kim: Yeah, because they got that shitty gene. I'm sorry you got that gene. 

Allanah: (laughs) I feel sorry for you. And I was just like, this is what I needed to start doing things again. So I went outside and I swept up all the debris, I started planting. I did tomatoes and they turned out really fucking well, I don’t know how I did that. And they were delicious.

Kim: Good.

Allanah: Yeah, it was great. So yeah. I don’t pull myself out of my own magical slump, sometimes the universe has to kind of push me in that direction.

Kim: Well I’m glad you got out of it.

Allanah: Me too, that woulda been awful.

Kim: Yeah. What is something you wish was discussed more in the witch community?

Allanah: Oh, that's a good one because I feel like I discuss a lot of shit. I don't, so for me, I don't really feel like there's never really anything that I haven't talked about. There's a lot of mental health that is talked about. So okay, so I don't wish that it was like more talked about, but I wish it was like more respected, would be like the closed practices where people are just like, are more respectful towards them and wanting to know information about them. You know what I mean? I don't want anybody to just jump in and be like, I'm going to do this shit because I fucking can. No bitch, you can't. I'm sorry. There are some things that are closed for a goddamn reason. But I would really, I really would like more education on those things. Does that make sense?

Kim: Do you mean to outsiders, or that it exists, or this is what we do, but hey, could you not?

Allanah: I think that's the last one with you that last one. Hey, this is what we do, but can you please not do it. Like be respectful of the way you go towards things. Because I am, okay, so I'm the type of person that feels like if you are called to it, like a legit-ass call, not just because oh, I think this would be fun. No, no, you can't just do shit because it's fun. Like you have to have that legit-ass calling.

Kim: Do you ever work with other witches?

Allanah: No, I really don't, like, put energy into... Let's see. So I really don't, like, get together with other people and do stuff, because I like to be in my house. I am a hermit. (Kim laughs) I do. I mean, okay, look.

Kim: (laughing) The term I like to be in my house,  because I also say it.

Allanah: I mean, okay, I am a hermit until I don't have, until I, like, have to go out into the public and then I can get all my Leo on and then come back home and hermit. (laughs) But no, I don't work with other witches because I do not feel like we all practice the same. And I kind of want to work with people that we kind of get it. You know what I mean?

Kim: Yeah.

Allanah: Okay, cool. Explaining things is hard! (laughs

Kim: Yeah. Who or what are the three biggest influences in your practice? Thank them for whatever you feel you need to thank them.

Allanah: Oh... my first one would be my fiance. My fiance has always wanted a very witchy girlfriend, but he wanted the aesthetically pleasing version. No, you got me. (laughs) I'm not aesthetically pleasing, but I'm a whole ass witch.

Kim: Yes you are!

Allanah: Uh, you should see me in my house clothes. It's fine. (laughs) But he has been the person, like my backbone this whole time. Like even before I created my logo, even before I started doing events, he always like pushed me to do more and not be ashamed of the things that I was capable of doing. And I thank him for that every day. Like I thank him, like, everywhere and be like you're the best. Let's see, who else... my children, because they have pushed me to learn more about like my own mental bullshit and work through my own generational shit, because I don't want to pass that down to them. That would suck. But yeah, they're great. I love them. Handfuls, but I love them. And then who else? I think my mom and my best friend together because they're my mom. Okay, so me and my mom are really close. We do everything together. And I love that. I love that she supports everything I do. Everything I do. Like I wanted to sell sex toys one time and she supported that shit too. Fucking go mom! (laughs) And then my best friend, who has always made an effort to like understand what I'm doing despite our religious differences. 

Kim: What advice do you have for a new practitioner? 

Allanah: Don't buy all the things. There's no need for it. I have so many crystals that are just like in a jar sitting there for no damn reason. They're nice to look at, but if you're not going to get the time to get to know what they do or it isn't something that you're like in love with, don't fucking buy it for the fucking fuck of buying it. That was a lotta fucks.

Kim: Fuck yeah. (Allanah laughs) Who do you think I should have on the show?

Allanah: Oooo, okay, so. I love Juliet Diaz. Juliet Diaz, I just love her work. I love reading all her stuff. So definitely her. There's also somebody else, and don't come for me, but she's on TikTok. But it's Rebecca the ghost guide. She does more. She has a lot of mediumship stuff and I just love to watch like she does like all the stories about like her or like reenactments of like her and her and her adventures of ghosting. Well, I don't know if you call it ghosting, but like talking with spirits and stuff like that. And I love it and it's great.

Kim: Cool. So the last two things, number one, recommend something to the listeners.

Allanah: Oh, OK. OK, bagel, cream cheese, hot Cheetos on top.

Kim: (incredulously) What?!

Allanah: Yes, it's delicious. I used to eat that in middle school, it was like the, what was it, would you call it like a hood-rat snack? (laughs)

Kim: That... I would believe that.

Allanah: And it was amazing. Like it doesn't even have to be like a toasted bagel. As a matter of fact, don't toast the bagel, put all the cream cheese on top of it and put hot Cheetos on top. And if not, just skip the bagel and just eat hot Cheetos and cream cheese.

Kim: Okay. (laughs)

Allanah: You're laughing but it's going to change your mind. It's gonna change the world, I'm telling you. It's amazing. I'm going to probably buy some now.

Kim: Okay. At Anahata's.

Allannah:  Oh, yeah, just take it, have it with me. It's a little snack So wants some bagels, who wants some cream cheese and hot cheetos, guys?

Kim: The last thing is, please tell me a story.

Allanah: Okay, so I think this was, I had, okay, so I had a plan of vacation. I was going to California. But anyways, this was the day before I was going to California There is this bar here called The Other Woman and I feel like all my stories revolve around this bar, Jesus Christ. It's called The Other Woman and me and my fiance, well my he was my boyfriend. Then we had gone to pick up my mom, so that she can come with us to the bar because I do everything for my mom. I go drinking, I used to go drinking with my mom, like we do everything. And when we were driving, like in the back alley to get to the parking lot, because that's how you got to the parking lot of this bar, like there was... (laughs) Hang on. I have to compose myself. Oh god. (laughing) There were two people just going to pound town on the- (Kim bursts out laughing) But that's not even it, okay? They didn't even stop. They saw us, they did not stop. But it looked like they had just stopped at like the grocery store because they were still holding on to their grocery bags! (laughs)

Kim: What?!

Allanah:  Yeah! That was that was funny!

Kim: I don't understand anything you're saying right now. 

Allanah: Okay, so okay, so there's a bar. 

Kim: Oh,I can picture it. 

Allanah: Okay Yeah, great. There's an alley. Okay, and right in between like the alley and the bar, there are like little stores, because you got to go behind the alley. Well they weren't even like in the alley, they were just like on the side of one of the stores, and they were just fucking going at it, literally with grocery bags in their hands. I don't... 

Kim: That's that's the part I don't get! 

Allanah: I was I'm kind of wondering Like I think she was the one holding onto the groceries. Yeah no, they just did not, I mean when you got to do it, I guess you just got to do it! I'm not here to judge you, but fuck, at least pick somewhere that has like a bush and like a wall. Be classy!

Kim:  If you're gonna fuck outside after you get groceries be classy about it. (laughs) 

Allanah: Like do it, like just do it somewhere nobody's gonna see you all the way! Like no, they were just out in the middle like just fucking, on the side of a building, with the lady holding grocery bags!

Allanah: I live in a strange part of town. 

Kim: I just bought this macaroni and cheese and I don't want to put it down. 

Allanah: You know what I'm saying? What if somebody tries to steal this? We bought this with food stamps. I don't know. It was great. It was great. We bought this with food stamps. I don't know it was great, it was great. Good. We told everybody at the bar, it was so funny. 

Kim: Well thanks for coming on the show.

Allanah: Thanks for having me! Thanks for listening to my real fucked up stories.

Kim: Okay then I'll see you on Marco, bye!

Allanah: Okay bye! (fades in) My daughter sees spirits. Okay, so, not at the house we're currently at, but the house before this, my daughter would run around back and forth, and she was just running around, giggling all crazy because she's nuts. And I felt something jump on my bed, and there was nothing there. (fades out)

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