In this episode I talk to Amberleigh of The Hearth and Hedge Podcast. Amberleigh talks to us about the joys of kitchen witchery, using baking in magic, and why you shouldn't stress yourself out about being a witch.
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Amberleigh
of the Hearth and Hedge Podcast
Welcome back to Your Average Witch, where we meet every Tuesday to talk about witch life, witch stories and sometimes a little witchcraft. In this episode I talked to Amberleigh of the Heart and Hedge podcast. Amberleigh talks to us about the joys of kitchen witchery, using baking in magic, and why you shouldn't stress yourself out about being a witch. Before we get started, here's a word from this week's sponsor, The Rusted Rabbit. The Rusted Rabbit is a handmade crystal jewelry business out of Michigan. Whether you're looking for a head turning statement pendant or something more simple and dainty, they've got the piece you need. The Rusted Rabbit is run by Mike and Lindsay of Anahata's popcorn fame. They are a married couple who each bring a different eye to the small business, making for a variety of unique items. They specialize in wire wrapping, macrame, hair accessories and much more. They even recently added eyeglass chains, in fact. They focus on the properties of the crystal they are working with and put those energies into each piece.
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A: Okay, so my name is Amberleigh. I host a podcast also. I host a podcast, The Heart and Hedge. I a am self-proclaimed, I don't know, kitchen slash house witch. You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at The Heart and Hedge. I have a website, TheHearthandHedge.com, where I share all of the information on my episodes and any resources or whatever else. I also have a blog on there that I don't add to often enough. I have a Patreon.com/thehearthandhedge. I have two dogs that are obnoxious every time I try to record. K: I think if you have a fiber witch. A: A fiver witch? K: A fiber witch. A: Oh, fiber witch. K: Yeah, like you're always sewing and quilting.
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A: Yeah, I guess that's a relatively new addition to my life. I started that in, well, you know, when everybody did in the pandemic, when everybody learned how to bake bread and do some sort of thing. That's when I started quilting. But yeah, I like that. I can be a fiber witch. K: What does it mean to you when you call yourself a witch? A: Well, I don't know if you know that song, Woman In, Woman In Total Control of Herself. It's like W.I.T.C.H, that's what I'd like it to mean. But it's not. For me, being a witch is like, I can stand in my own, my own power. I'm proud to be a woman. I have a husband and I let him open jars or get things from the shelf that's high or whatever. K: Good for you. A: I like, thanks.
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But I like to know that I could do those things if he wasn't there. And I like to know that I am in charge of my own destiny. And that's really what it means for me. Being able to stand in my own power and appreciate it when somebody's there to help, but know that I don't need them. K: Do you have any family history with witchcraft? A: You know what? I don't. I wish I did. But I don't. My family is very, I mean, as Christian as it, as it gets, really, except for me and my mom. Well, my dad too. But yeah, no, we don't. We don't have any history. K: Did you do witchy stuff as a kid, even accidentally?
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A: Of course. You know, my friends and I would play several different games. One of them was genies, and another one was like witches. But we would always go outside and like try and call the wind and just do all kinds of silly kid things. And I'm pretty sure a few times we might have manifested not such great things. K: Children! A: I know. But let's give him a Ouija board. K: That super fun "game." A:Yes... K: By Hasbro. A: Thanks Hasbro. K: Do you have a regular practice, maybe even daily that you'll share? A: You know what I do. And it's a super simple practice, but I think anyone can relate to it.
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So every morning when I get up, I will go into the kitchen and open up my mug cupboard. And pick a mug for the day. It will depend. Sometimes I'll choose by color according to, you know, if it's Moonday, maybe I'll choose something white. If it's Wednesday, I might choose something red for Mars. If I feel like I need a pick me up, I have a mug that says "I woke up sexy as hell again." Which is sweet. So I will choose my mug based on how I want my day to go, or based on how I need, what I need for that day. And then I make my coffee. And as I pour my coffee, I try and imbue it with whatever thoughts or feelings that I want for the day. And that's like my most basic daily practice I do every day. And if I do nothing else, witchy, that's the one thing I do. K: Do non-witches has have mug cupboards?
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A: I mean, I should hope so. K: I mean, I know they have mugs, but do they have a dedicated, because I have, and I don't even drink tea or coffee and I have a dedicated mug area. A: That's hilarious. I really, I don't know. My husband is always like, if you get one more fucking mug... K: I had to stop. A: Right. Yeah. I used to collect mugs from like where I would go. K: Yeah. A: But I stopped doing that because magnets are much easier to store. So I get magnet, but I will buy mugs if, you know, if I have to have it. And that happens a lot. So. K: Plus there's always merch and you want to support your friends, and then I'll use a mug.
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A: Yeah, I could use, I could use another mug. Like, then I come home and my husband's like, what in the fuck? K: Why? Why? Why do we have 17 mugs? A: Yeah, now you need to get rid of four. Yeah. K: How would you say witchcraft changed your life? A: Well, witchcraft came to me several times in my life and every time it's come to me, it has been definitely when I needed it. But the most recent rediscovery for me, it definitely changed my life for the better, but it made me a better person, which I know sounds super cheesy and like, okay, cliche, but it made me more cognizant of my impact on the world and on the earth and how I carry myself throughout my day and what kind of influence I'm giving off on other people, even when I'm not meaning to influence them.
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So I think it has made me more just more aware of my surroundings and myself. A: That's interesting. That's an interest- I haven't heard that take before. A: No? Huh. Huh. You feel it, Huh. K: I know, that's the exact feeling. Huh. A: Yeah, I thought that was going to be like, if not, you're going to be like, wow, okay, everybody says that. Huh? Interesting.
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K: What has been your biggest motivator in your practice? A: Basically, that. I want to be more aware and more cognizant and be good to the earth and be good to my fellow humans and teach my children all of those things and really leave the planet a little bit better than when I started, which I feel like that's not possible, but to have some sort of positive impact in my life. K: I think it's even more possible for people like you and me because we have a podcast and people hear it and are affected by it. A: Well, that's true. That's true. And I think it's really important for people like us to use our platform for good. And I try to do that. K: Do you deal with self-doubt and imposter syndrome and if you do? If you do, what do you do? A: Every day. Every day of my life.
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K: Really? A: Every day. And I think that's just, and maybe it's just me, maybe I'm weird, but I feel like, you know, sometimes I feel like I'm not mom enough, or, like, it's really weird that I have a podcast and like to call myself a podcaster, it feels creepy and like wrong. But I am a podcaster, and you are a podcaster, and we're doing it, and people listen to us, and support you. K: It's weird. A: It's real weird. K: In case you can't tell, we know each other. A: Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do deal with it all the time. But I think the way I get myself out of it is I think about the successes that I've had. And my podcast is going on 8,000 downloads, which seems bizarre.
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You know, and I've been, I've been podcasting for over a year now, which is bizarre. You know. K: Congrats! A: Thank you. And so I look at things like that, or I look at the fact that, you know, if it's about me being a mom or being a witch or whatever, my children are not assholes. So I'm doing something right, you know? K: Thank you on behalf of the rest of the world. A: You know, I really try. I think that's a parent's job is to raise non-assholes and I really wish more people took that into account when they have children. Yeah. But that's how I do it. I look at the successes and think, okay, well, this happened. So, you know, sack up. Or vag up.
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I don't know. It depends on how you want to say it. K: I was trying to, I was trying to see hear if you said sack or suck. I was like, hmmm, I'm just going to skip over that part. A: Maybe it was just delete that shit. K: What is your biggest struggle with magic or your practice or however you want to phrase that for yourself? A: For me, because I do so many reviews and I research so much for the podcast, but I feel like my biggest struggle is that I, by the time it's, I have time to practice, I'm like, oh my god, if I look at one more witchcraft tool or, you know, I just want to take a nap, you know. So getting off my ass and actually practicing is my biggest struggle because most of my life revolves around learning about it or reading about it, you know. K: That makes sense. A: So, yeah.
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K: I'm going to ask something that is a little different from what I usually ask. A: Okay. K: What are your long term goals for your podcast? A: Oh, you know what? I don't really know. I'd really like it to be, to continue going. It makes me immensely happy when somebody comes to me and says, "hey, I really enjoyed this about your podcast: or "I learned this and it helped me in this way." So I think my long term goals are just to continue helping people. And I'd like... this sounds weird but I'd kind of like to go and maybe do some touring for it at some, K: yeah. A: I think that would be super fun. I want to learn all the things and go all the places and do all the stuff. Yeah. K: What brings you the most joy in your practice? A: I really, really love it when say, I like to make a loaf of bread and whoever eats it like feels my intention.
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Last year, I made some dill bread for one of our little northeast beans meetups at Rachel's house. Rachel of Anahata's Purpose, if anyone's wondering. And as I made it, I just really infused it with happiness and joy and prosperity and a couple of people ate it and they were like, wow, I am drunk. Which is not what I had intended it? But it was cool. They were just so, they made them so happy. They felt drunk, which was really neat. K: I hope more people out here, I hope we can do something like that. A: I know. I hope so too, because it's really nice. I wish I was closer because you bet your sweet ass I'd be hanging out with you all the time.
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You'd be like, go home. But yeah, I love that we do that. And I think it would be super cool if there could be little pockets of beans all over the country that just like hang out and do shit together. K: For the uninitiated, beans are fans of the Witch Bitch Amateur Hour Podcast. A: Oh right. I just assume everybody's a bean. So... K: Probably most people who listen to this podcast are. A: Yeah, I think most people that listen to mine are too. K: If you're not, you're welcome to join us. A: Yeah. K: Listen to the Witch Bitch Amateur Hour to find out what we're going off about. A: Yeah. It's fun. K: If you like this, you would probably like them too.
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A: Truth. K: What is your biggest fear in your practice? Other people. K: Hey, I relate to that. A: Yeah, I mean, it's pretty legit fear for Witches, I think. You know, we're very misunderstood. There's a lot of fuckers, assholes, whatever you want to call them all over the world, especially around here in the United States right now, which is unfortunate. And they just are very judgmental. I mean, I've talked to several witches since I started my podcast, who have had really scary, scary experiences with crazy people. K: Mm-hmm. A: And that is my biggest fear. And I don't put my children on my social media.
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I'll talk about them, but I don't say their names, because I don't want them to have to deal with that. What is my biggest fear is some crazy ass, like super right wing psychopaths showing up at my house, you know, or religious zealot or whatever, and hurting me or my family. K: Yeah, I haven't mentioned it to anybody. I mean, not even my husband, but some strange person has been messaging me. And talking about demons and Satan, neither of which apply to my practice. A: Right. K: But they don't, apparently, that's what they think my practice is about. So, and it's worrisome. And it's part of the reason I live out in the boonies with large dogs and the means to protect myself. A: Yeah. And it's fucking terrifying. People are fucking like, stay in your lane.
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I don't give a shit what you're doing over there, like leave me alone over here. Like that's how I feel, but for some reason, people think that they need to stick their nose where it doesn't belong. K: Yep. A: Yeah. I actually had on Facebook a few, I guess it's been about a year ago now. I had somebody that I knew from my childhood. And the message to me was like, there are no good witches, you need to repent. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, on Facebook, like for everyone to see. And I was like, well, crazy lady, you know, yeah, who's the crazy one? So I went over to her and I really hope I don't anger anyone or offend anyone here. But I went over to her page and she was like a total flat-earther Like... K: oh gosh. A: And that was my retort. I was like, you're a flat earther, jog on.
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Like, you have no say. Your crazy needs to get up off my page. K:I forget that I've had a similar interaction with someone from my past. A: Oh yeah. K: They aren't a flat earther to my knowledge. But I mean, if they have since become a flat earther, I don't know about it because we're no longer friends. A: Right. Well, good. K: What is something that you did early on in your practice that you don't do anymore? And why don't you do it? A: So this is a little bit different of an answer, but what I don't do that I used to do is stress out about it. I used to think that if I'm going to be a witch, I have to be a witch 100% of the time. But if you're a witch, you are a witch 100% of the time.
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Whether or not you're, you know, carrying around incense and wearing flowing garb and you. You know, I mean, I am a witch and that's who I am. And I dress like soccer mom because I almost am, you know, my kid plays lacrosse and my daughter is in theater. But like, it's pretty much the same thing. So I, that's what I don't do is stress about being witchy enough. Because I'm a witch. And even if I'm not like doing spells every day, it's fine. K: If I wore flowing garb, I would injure myself because I would catch it on something or trip and fall down. A: Yeah. Well, and also, I mean, I live in Virginia where with the humidity, like chafing us a thing, so... K: Gross. Gross, bro. A: So I fucking don't wear flowing garb unless I'm wearing, you know, like something underneath because it's painful. So. K: Humidity is the worst.
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A: It's a real dick. You know, I grew up in New Mexico. So after I moved here, you know, what would it be? K: What would you say is your favorite tool in your practice and why? A: Ah, this, this, this question stresses me out. K: Yay, you're welcome. A" Because it depends on the day. My kitchenaid, I use it so much. I love it. K: Do you? A: I do. I do. I use it all the time, like several times a week. So I love that. But then, you know, I also really, really love using my hands when I'm cooking. Like if I'm, I'm baking the bread, I could just leave it in the kitchenaid and let the kitchenaid do the kneading, but I actually really love to get down and do the kneading because I feel like that's, you really get contact with what you're trying to convey.
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Um, my stove is definitely one of them. Uh, yeah, it just depends on the day. K: Literally yesterday Ken was like, I want to rearrange the kitchen so our kitchenaid is out and we can actually use it. And I'm like, what the hell are we going to do with that? A: Oh my god, I love mine. I use it all the time. K: But you bake. A: I do bake. I do bake. Do you use it for anything else? A: Probably. I mean, you can make pasta with them. They have like a gajillion different attachments. You can get the sausage making attachments, the meat grinding attachment, like they do all the things.
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You just have to buy the attachment. K: We have those. A: Oh, see, see. Those things. That's what you do with them. K: How do you use the thing? A: I don't have all the attachments. So I don't know. I have the whisk and the dough hook and the paddles. That's it. I want all those other things. K: If you could only recommend one book to a new witch, what would it be? A: This one also really stressed me out. Because I mean, I don't know if you've heard, but I really like books. But I did choose.
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And it is Blackthorn's Protection Magic by Amy Blackthorn. K: That book gave me such anxiety that I could not sleep very well for a week. A: Oh really? Oh god. K: Beause I have OCD and obsessions with self-care and not being kidnapped. A: Yeah. K: And if I'm not strong enough to break through whatever, that just worried me for a week and I could not sleep.A: All right, that's fair. That's fair. K: But not everybody's crazy. So yeah, people should get that book. A: Well, the reason I like that book and what I really like about Amy Blackthorn as a writer and as a person and as a witch is that she does the magic, but she also expects that she has to do the mundane.
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K: Yes. A: Because I've said it. I don't know how many times, but if you ward your house, you know, you can ward your house all day, but if you don't lock your doors, it's not going to matter. You know? K: Yeah, I really, that's what, yeah, I also really enjoyed talking to her and it was for similar reasons. A: Yeah. Yeah, she's, I just published her episode today on Hearth and Hedge and that was probably my favorite interview ever. Like she's just so real, and... K: She has stories, dude. A: Oh my God, I know. Yeah, yeah, she's a, she's a super cool, super cool lady. K: Now you say you grew up in New Mexico and now you live in the, in Virginia, which is funny because I grew up in Virginia and now I live out here. Would you say that environment shaped your practice and do you think growing up out here made it different than if you had grown up where you are now?
A: I think so for sure, actually, when you put the question that way, for sure, because a lot of the influences of New Mexico, like the Spanish settlers and the Native Americans, and then my family, you know, homesteaded, they were in New Mexico for over 100 years. You know, so the culture of New Mexico itself has really shaped me as a person and really made a difference in kind of what parts of the magical community I feel a little more drawn to. I really, I love Santa Muerte. Our Lady of Guadalupe is one of my, you know, like, deities that I work with. So a lot of the Spanish influence that I grew up around is what I use in my practice now. But also, as far as the environment itself goes and like the weather patterns, I guess, where I live is very, very, very, wheel of the year following. So I do follow the wheel of the year, and celebrate all the sabbats when they're, you know, said to be on. But if I lived in like Southern California, or Southern Arizona or Florida, I probably wouldn't celebrate them the way that I do. oing to be like, you know, I just like to have a reason to cook something. K: Oh yeah, because you're a Taurus too, right? A: As a Taurus, it's kind of the bane of my existence, because I can't not eat. It's my favorite thing. I love eating. And napping. K: I would, I like the idea of naps. I can't do it, but I like wishing for... I don't, I wish I could. If I don't have a job, I can nap. A: I love naps. They're my favorite.
K: Now we all have low periods. I'm going to be adventurous and say all of us. How do you feel yourself out of a low period? A: So I think for me, maintaining my daily practice of my, my mug, keeps me going. and then as I start feeling a little bit more comfortable I will add something small each day to kind of bring myself back into my practice. Maybe after maybe instead of having coffee I'll make my own little tea blend in the morning. Or maybe instead of drinking my coffee in front of my computer like I normally do, because that's you know what we do, we get up and we do our jobs, right? I'll go sit out on my front porch and take in, you know, the morning, and watch the birds, and remember there's more to life than my computer monitor.
K: Do you ever work with other witches or are you solitary? A: I'm basically a solitary witch. However the few times that I have been able to share any kind of ritual or spell with other people I have thoroughly thoroughly enjoyed it, and I think that a lot of people are solitary just because they don't know who around them is also a witch, or also practices in some way. But I really also think there are way more of us out there than we know about; we just are staying in the in the broom closet out of safety, you know? K: Yeah. A: Yeah the few times that I've I've shared ritual has been has been really wonderful, but I'm also- I mean as a fellow Taurus you'll know I really really don't, I can I could live completely by myself. K: Yeah. A: Most of the time and be perfectly fine with that. So yeah. K: I have a deep love for my stuff, my area, and things done my way. A: Yeah. K: And it works best when I'm the one doing all those things by myself. A: Yeah. Because yeah I mean you'd be like do it like this, and then it wouldn't, you know, it's never mind, I'll just do it. K: Yeah. K: You know what I just read this only just occurred to me as we were talking we're the bull, right? We're not, we're not the well the cow because the cow in a herd and the bull is always in a field by himself. Nearly. A: That, I mean except for you know when you... K: For Beltane. A: Yes, you're right. I had never even thought about either. That's it's interesting. K: That's human inter-interference but still, that's who I am. A: Yeah.
K: Who or what would you say are the three biggest influences on your practice? A: So definitely DJ Conway. D.J. Conway was the first author who I picked up a witchy book of. It was not a beginner's book it, was called Dancing with Dragons. I picked that up when I was 11 or 12, I don't know, and that definitely obviously started me on on the road to becoming a witch. And then Starhawk, who's also an author, wrote Spiral Dance. K: Yeah A: Which was much more into the goddess religion, so I learned a lot about that. and then I think now, I probably wouldn't have answered this this way even six months ago, but my my mom. My stepmom, who I call my mom, is witchy adjacent, right? but she she definitely influences my practice because she's so so spiritual. And her spirituality really, I'm a little envious of it actually, and I want to have that kind of spirituality, so I strive to do that. But she's just like, I mean it might just be because she's like well into the crone stage and that's just who she is. She's just like always walking around being spiritual. And not in like a woo-woo, like, holy shit calm down kind of way, but just like but just like, it, like you can tell that she's really in the moment all the time and I love that.
K: What advice do you have for someone just starting out? A: You do not need to categorize yourself as any one kind of witch. That's a new thing, relatively, you know? It used to be like either you were either a witch or you weren't. K: You don't see witch trials saying "they were a kitchen witch." A: Right, right. If you're a witch you're a witch, and if you feel like you want to categorize yourself as something, that's fine. Sometimes I am a kitchen witch or a home house witch you know, but sometimes I'm just a witch. because it's, that's what I am. I'm one of those witches babe! There you go. Never ever ever do that again Amberleigh. okay you don't have to cut that out, it's fine.
K: Who do you think I should have on the show? A: oh this kills me I... everyone. Have you had Juliette Diaz yet? K: No but she's on my list for the year. Silver Raven Wolf would be cool. K: Is there anything else that you wanted to bring up or anything you wanted to ask me? A: let's see, this month on patreon we are we have, our book club is Pure Magic ,which book club is a little bit different now. I'm gonna start doing zoom meetings with my patrons, which sounds really exciting, but I'm super terrified nobody's gonna show up. K: I know that fear. A: I have started, as I get interviews that I think are super cool, I've started releasing those early to my patrons, and yeah. We're doing a Pure Magic book because Judika Illes is going to be on my podcast later in the month, and so I wanted my patrons to be able to ask her questions if they had any. K: Yeah! and the last things, the two last things that we go over, are number one, would you please recommend something to the listeners. A: So I okay I have to recommend this one book that every which I think on the planet should own and that is Llewellyn's full book of cor, complete book of correspondences. K: Yes, yes! A: it's huge but I love it. it is huge. Sandra Kynes wrote it and it is so fucking good. You, there is not a correspondence that I have thought of that I could not find in there somewhere, so I think every witch should own that book hands down. and then I thought... K: That one is that the one with the brown cover? A: Yes. K: I've found a lot of things that aren't in there because I'm looking around in my yard. Which isn't fair, but whatever. I mean it's not fair to them. A: all righty. K:Why don't you don't know about the the desert specific plants that grow only in my yard? A: well okay that's fair. Anyway I'm sure I could now I'll probably think of a hundred things that aren't in there. And then of course, you know. Come listen to the Hearth and Hedge. It's fun, it's a fun, fun podcast and it's gonna get even more fun as time goes on and I really learn how to do what I'm doing.
K: And finally would you please tell me a story that you love to tell? A: Okay I have a good one. I have a good one. This is a weird, a weird thing. So when I was in my last year of high school my dad took myself and my cousin Jason to Europe, and we went to Germany for a little bit of time. And then we flew from Germany to Budapest, and then we took a passenger van. This is where the story really begins. We took a passenger van from Budapest to Cluj, Nipolka, Romania. And it was an overnight van ride. Well it wasn't supposed to be, but it ended up being an overnight van ride, because our van was late. By hours. So they finally show up to the airport and load us up in this like 13 person passenger van, but there were like at least 15 of us in there. K: oh. A: yeah. and the driver was a fucking psychopath. like it was probably completely normal driving to other people, but I was like shitting my pant.s so was my dad. So my cousin and I and my dad were like smushed in the very last row in the back, and all of the people except for the driver and the person that's had in the front passenger seat, as far as we knew, did not speak English. So we stopped about an hour outside of Budapest at this little restaurant where, side note, the only handsome man I saw in the entirety of Europe was, which seemed complete bullshit because there had to have been somebody hot somewhere, but no, it was just this one guy in, you know, the middle of Romania. Or Hungary rather. But that's neither here nor there. So we ate dinner, hopped back on the bus, and then didn't stop until we got about a mile from the the border between Romania and Hungary, and we stopped a mile before the border and let out the guy in the passenger seat. And he unloaded his moped and he left, right? Okay whatever.
We thought people were just up and off so then we proceed to the border and we give our passports and you know you know, the drill. K: No, they didn't have that when I lived there. A: Okay, okay, so while we were at the passport thing for like, or at the border for like I don't know, like an hour, like a long fucking time, but our driver kept saying don't talk to anyone, don't talk to anyone. Okay fine. K: Oh god. A: Nobody, nobody can speak to us anyway because nobody speaks English, right? So we get finally get past the border crossing and about a mile later we stopped, and we picked up the guy, and we let off before the border. Which was interesting. And then we we just kept driving, and we did not stop. So, so these are, so far we've stopped to go to dinner, we got back on the van. We have not left the van thus far since then, right? We kept going. And by this time, I had had food, I had had drink, and I really fucking needed to pee, and I'm sure it wasn't just me. But I was like hurting, like my kidneys hurt.
He just kept fucking driving. He just kept driving. He did not stop until we fucking ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere in Romania. K: *gasps* A: Thankfully , I know, I know, it just gets better! And it really does, it even gets better than that. So we ran out of gas and thankfully we ran out of gas like just, just a little bit away from a gas station, so he was able to like get gas, right? But it is, I mean we've been on the bus since we had eaten. K: What the HELL. A: Like for like eight hours. And so I, all of us on the bus are like running to this gas station to pee, right? It was fucking horrible. And then we get back on the bus and... K:And it's pay toilets, right?
A: Yeah. yeah. K: Yep, because that's how they do it in Europe. A: Yeah, yeah, and also like don't talk to anyone, because you're an American. Don't talk to anyone. So we we all get back on the bus and we continue on our way to Cluj, and we had told them, you know, what our hotel was, and I think it was like the continental, or the university, or blah blah blah. You know, something. Well so they, all of a sudden everyone on the bus speaks English, because nobody could figure out where the fuck our hotel was. K: What?! A: Yeah, everyone was, everyone spoke English. And it's so funny to me because my dad and my cousin were sitting in the back talking about how hot all the women were on this bus.
K: Oh my god. Oh my god. A: That just killed me. I thought it was fucking hilarious. But so all of a sudden everyone fucking speaks English, and we get, you know, they finally decide this is where you're staying. So they stop at the bottom of this hill, essentially kick us out of the bus, and say "This is where you're you're staying. Up that hill." And they give us our luggage, and they left.
So we walked up the hill and it turns out this wasn't actually a hotel. K: Just some building?! A: It was like, I think it was maybe a hostel? K: Oh. But maybe it was just a church? A: But also maybe? I don't know what the fuck it was, because we were like, and it's like six in the morning at this point, right? So... K: Oh my god.
A: We get to this building, and I don't really remember what happened but we couldn't use the phone because it was, the the phone lines weren't working yet because it was a certain time of day, and it was just after communism, so things didn't work all the time. K: It was like 10 minutes past communism, sorry. A: I mean it really was pretty close! Just, it was it was 10 past communism, yes, exactly. So the phone lines didn't start working till like a certain time of day. So we had to wait in this fucking place until the phone lines worked, so my dad could call a fucking cab. But... K: The hell?!? A: I know dude, it was a fucking nightmare!
So we finally call a cab, and get to the hotel, and go to check in, and they were like "We don't have a reservation for you." And my dad was like real pissed by this point. Because I mean like he's traveling Europe with two fucking teenagers, and just nothing is going right at this point. So we had to walk down the fucking road with our fucking luggage to the phone banks, pay for the phone banks, which you had to get like a special phone card, and we called our host, and he was like it's fine, I'll take care of it. So by the time we got back to our hotel they were like "Oh, welcome to Romania!" but it was such a fucking nightmare.
K: That sounds like a weird movie. A: I know, like it's amazing we didn't die at the end, or like one of us didn't come home. Like alone, you know?? Like it was just like a guy, that one guy was fucking weird. K: Like, we're married. A: Yes, yes! K: "I don't know, they told me to hold this thing and then some people said stuff, and now suddenly I have a wife. I don't know I was just trying to use the phone!"
A: Yeah so needless to say, we actually left Romania a little bit early. K: That's amazing. I love it. A: Yeah,so there's my story. K: Well thank you for being on the show. A:Thank you so much for having me, it was it was a good time. K: Yay! A: And look, it's time for us to start. 1:02. K: Yeah. Okay. A: Yeah, all right. K: Okay I'm gonna say bye now. A: Okay, bye now! K: Bye! A: Bye!
K: Okay Amberleigh. A:Yes. K: Welcome to Patreon! A: Oh shit! K: Do you know I hate, I hate whispering on the mic and yet I do it to annoy myself later when I'm editing. *fade out*
*fade in* A: I have an answer for it. K: Yes, yes. A: Um um, I really fucking hate uh, gate keepers. I really hate them. A fucking lot. I think that uh, they're basically... *fade out*
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